PPOM - I'm Always Right

My final Potentially Problematic Opinion is this: I’m always right.

Boyfriend just shook his head in bemusement, I am sure, because I love telling him I’m always right. But that’s a joke. This is for serious. I’m always right, and so are you, even when we’re wrong.

I touched a little while ago on the weirdness of changing your mind on the big stuff. It can be difficult to let go of previously held notions and realign your thinking with new ones. But while it’s important to admit that you’ve changed your mind on something, it’s also important not to get hung up on feeling guilty that you used to be wrong. And that’s what I mean when I say I’m always right.

Still confused? I’m not surprised, let me elaborate.

Truth is subjective. There are many truths about any one situation, and those truths belong to individual people. Their emotions, experiences, and viewpoints contribute to their individual truths so that you could never accurately say, “this is exactly how it is” about anything, really. Being “right” is the same.

When I have an opinion, I believe it to be right, otherwise I wouldn’t hold it. That’s what a conviction is; something you hold to be true. My experience, my knowledge, my values, they all contribute to this opinion. My values may be different to yours, and my knowledge might be limited, but until I expand my experiences surrounding the issue, I’ll still be right.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying people shouldn’t change their opinions, in fact quite the opposite, I’m just kind of conveying it in a roundabout, slightly weird way. Basically, I think we all secretly think like this, “I’m always right”, we say to ourselves subconsciously. Of course we do, how could we not? If we thought we were wrong about something, we wouldn’t hold the opinion, surely. The point I’m getting at is that when you encounter someone with a different opinion to you, it’s imperative that you remember that they don’t think they are wrong, they think YOU are wrong. It seems obvious when I spell it out like that, but in the heat of the conversation, it can be easy to forget. Keeping this in mind will change every debate or intellectual conversation you ever have.

So as you read mine and other people’s Potentially Problematic Opinions, remember, I’m right. I’m always right. But Jess is right, Tim is right, Noni is right, Alex is right, Britt is right and you are right too. Even when we differ.

I’m always right, just ask me.

 

The irony of my last blog's title is not lost on me, I promise.

August is Potentially Problematic Opinions Month. Led by Alex from Adventures in TV-Land, a bunch of bloggers will tell you about opinions they hold that might piss you off, or make you think, or be so obvious you can’t believe anyone would think them problematic, opening your eyes to a whole world of people who don’t agree with you. This is my description, by the way, and it’s possible that Alex has a completely different one. Ooooooh Potentially Problematic!

What else is happening in PPOM? (will be updated with links as they happen)

Tim joined in PPOM with a great post about unhelpful binaries

Alex blogged about "quality TV" and how she's probs not going to watch Game of Thrones (we'll love her anyway, because she's always right). 

Britt has some really well written opinions about Degrassi because Britt is the best

Jess tells us about giving away books!

PPOM - If You Don't Love Sansa Stark You Are Wrong

If you don’t love Sansa Stark, you are wrong, and I’m about to tell you why.

 

If you don’t watch or read Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire, the depths of your wrongness know no bounds, and you should probably stop reading this and start reading/watching that. But even if you don’t know who the hell she is, you should love Sansa Stark anyway, and like I said, I’ma tell you why.

People don’t like Sansa because she’s whiney, apparently, and because she is naïve. And I admit, Sansa does spend a lot of time waiting for someone to rescue her, and gets pretty damn weepy every time something goes wrong. But let’s look at the facts for a second.

·      Sansa is the first born female Stark, she was raised to be a princess, and raised for marriage and babies.

·      Sansa is beautiful.

·      She has spent her whole childhood in Winterfell, which is about as isolated and removed from reality as you can get this side of the wall.

·      The adults in Sansa’s life wanted her to be innocent and uneducated, whether they knew that’s what they were doing or not.

·      Sansa has always defined herself in opposition to her tomboy sister, Arya.

·      She *likes* sweet things likes songs and cakes and flowers… is that so surprising or bad?

·      They killed her dad in front of her, and then made her stay in King’s Landing with his murderers.

·      Joffrey is a massive dick.

·      They beat her, publicly stripped her and psychologically messed with her.

·      She had no one.

·      And no one came to rescue her.

·      People who promised to rescue her didn’t.

·      They killed her brother, her mother, and basically the entire court/guard of Winterfell.

·      And still no one came for her.

·      They married her into the family of people who ruined her life.

·      She is 13 years old.

So um… your argument is invalid. Basically, of all the main POV characters, I think Sansa has it the hardest for the longest. She’s not allowed to whinge about it?

Also, she survives. If Arya were in Sansa’s situation, I feel like she’d be dead. There is no way Arya would have held her tongue, played the “little dove” and survived. She would have tried to do something valiant and badass, and they would have killed her for it. But sometime after Ned’s death, something in Sansa flips, and she suddenly knows what it is she has to do. Uneducated and silly, foolish little Sansa realises that they need her alive, and that they need her to play along. So she does. She says what they want her to say, goes through the motions, acts heartbroken when they void her engagement to King Dickface and survives.

 “Lady Stark you may survive us yet” – the cleverest person in the room.

Sansa plays the game of thrones like a girl, and by that I mean she doesn’t rely on traditionally masculine traits to survive. Characters like Brienne, Arya and (to an extent) Daenerys have to eschew femininity to get through life. Now don’t get me wrong, I just listed three of my favourite characters, and there’s nothing I love more than a badass Arya moment, or a Brienne-is-the-best- at-everything swordfight, but there are other ways to be strong: in A Song of Ice and Fire... Sansa is a lipstick feminist.

Sansa does everything with grace and poise; she is elegant, beautiful and dainty. She is clever, and wary, and learns how to start guarding herself and reserving her trust. The Tyrells have to work very hard to win her over, and even then Sansa understands that they need her too, and that she is just a piece in other people’s games. Moreover, when they decide to marry her off, not to pretty, valiant Loras, but to the unknown, crippled Willas*, she decides that she’ll be a good wife, name her kids after her siblings, and notes that people will probably stop trying to beat and kill her all the time. In short, she has learnt how to play the game in order to survive.

*non-book readers, in the books it’s not explicitly mentioned that Loras is gay, really, and while Sansa has a bit of a moment thinking she’ll get to marry him, this storyline is significantly different.

***** Spoilers follow for those who haven’t read the books, scroll to the stars if you don’t want them****

I have a theory that Sansa is going to become a major player very soon, and if you want evidence for it, all you have to do is look at how much she changes once she leaves King’s Landing. As she plays the part of Petyr’s bastard daughter, she becomes more and more savvy. She picks up on who is in his pay and who isn’t, understands that all is not always as it seems, and recognises that Petyr’s conniving wisdom is probably what she needs now to survive. All the while, she continues to play it like a lady. She hides how she truly feels about irritating little Robert and her Aunt Lysa, and knows she must continue to play a certain part.

I think she is going to learn a lot under Petyr’s tutelage, but that she will be strong enough in her own convictions to become her own kind of player, no longer simply a pawn. I can’t ever see her wanting to go back to King’s Landing, but we may well see a Queen in the North sometime soon, and I tell you what, I’ll be bending the knee.

***********Spoilers are over now, it’s ok*************

Basically, Sansa is no badass, she’s not a hero, and she isn’t ever going to stop loving lemon cakes, but that doesn’t make her a bad character and it doesn’t make her unlovable. She’s the best, basically, and she does everything like a girl. A clever, awesome, wonderful girl. If you don’t like Sansa, you’re wrong, and if I haven’t yet convinced you, I’ll leave you with a few more things…

“All you need to know about Sansa in this book is that she has a direwolf – a giant, monstrous wolf, a half-mythological monster, a killing machine – and she names it Lady.” – Schmoop

“My skin has turned to porcelain, to ivory, to steel.” – Sansa Stark

Sansa’s hair is amazing. And has really interesting meanings. You can track Sansa’s loyalty and emotions by how she does her hair, and I just think that is amazing.

Finally, you should know that Sophie Turner, who plays Sansa in the show, adopted the dog that played Lady, because like Sansa, Sophie is amazing.

August is Potentially Problematic Opinions Month. Led by Alex from Adventures in TV-Land, a bunch of bloggers will tell you about opinions they hold that might piss you off, or make you think, or be so obvious you can’t believe anyone would think them problematic, opening your eyes to a whole world of people who don’t agree with you. This is my description, by the way, and it’s possible that Alex has a completely different one. Ooooooh Potentially Problematic!

What else is happening in PPOM? (will be updated with links as they happen)

Noni has joined us! With an absolutely amazing post entitled "I'm fat. That's ok". 

Alex tells us she is actually thinking about voting for Clive Palmer, and what that says about political discourse in Australia right now. 

Jess talks language, specifically bad language. 

PPOM - I Hate Crumpets

I hate crumpets.

If you don’t think this is a Potentially Problematic Opinion, let me tell you I’ve nearly lost friends over this. Hell, I probably just lost 3 readers. I’ve had twitter wars about this opinion. My internet friends call it “crumpetgate”.

You see the problem is that people just can’t accept that they’ve been brainwashed. There’s nothing delicious about crumpets. They are about as undelicious as a breakfast can be, and yet the masses run to the defence of these circles of disappointment without hesitation. Already, you crumpet lovers are constructing your rebuttals: “you just haven’t had them cooked right, Lizzy”, “you should give them another try, Lizzy,” “there’s something wrong with your taste buds, Lizzy.” I’ve heard them all before, but on this, I shall not be moved.

Crumpets taste like… I can’t even describe it… ‘sadness’ is the first word that comes to mind, and then ‘holey’. Why are crumpets filled with little holes? The texture is all wrong. There are so many more delicious breakfast options, why must we continue with this farce?

And then there’s the messiness of them. You’ve toasted it, put your condiments on it, and now you have to try and eat it. It’s round, so where do you bite first? And it’s hot, so how do you even hold it? And then of course… the condiment starts to drip; suddenly you are being scalded by hot melted butter and/or honey. It’s a betrayal. No breakfast should harm you in such a way. Why do you allow yourselves to be so badly treated by food? Crepes would never do such a thing. Haloumi has never once tried to burn me.

And then we have this guy.

How can crumpet lovers accept the crumpet man?

He’s a crumpet. And he’s licking his lips. About crumpets. He’s not just a cannibal. He’s trying to sell his own people to you. Does this not bother you?

And it won't end at crumpets...

August is Potentially Problematic Opinions Month. Led by Alex from Adventures in TV-Land, a bunch of bloggers will tell you about opinions they hold that might piss you off, or make you think, or be so obvious you can’t believe anyone would think them problematic, opening your eyes to a whole world of people who don’t agree with you. This is my description, by the way, and it’s possible that Alex has a completely different one. Ooooooh Potentially Problematic!

What else is happening in PPOM? (will be updated with links as they happen)

Alex tells us why it's ok the next Doctor isn't a woman (and makes some really good points about female writers that I almost forgive her for being a crumpet lover). 

Britt is here to tell you that when it comes to her safety, you don't get to tell her what to do. 

PPOM - A Dirty Word

It is my firm opinion that ‘Feminism’ is a dirty word for a reason. It’s not that it’s become obsolete, and so any proponents of it are irritating shrews who don’t know when to stop flogging a dead horse. It’s not that Feminists are crazy, bra-burning man-haters, and it’s not that they ‘take it too far’ and want to run the world and make men irrelevant. In fact, all of those opinions (unfortunately held by too many people) are insidious, clever ways to undermine Feminism.

Feminism challenges the system. And to defend itself, the system has demonised and tarnished Feminism so that no one is quite sure why we ever needed Feminism in the first place. It’s no accident that I heard the word Feminist in a negative light, as an insult, long before anyone ever told me what being a Feminist is actually about. Whether aware of it or not, society doesn’t want young girls (or boys for that matter) to be Feminists, society doesn’t want people to challenge it, or tell it it’s wrong, or change it. Society wants to stay the way it’s always been thank you very much, and those who challenge it will be crushed with the mighty fist of injustice.

I’ve not used the word ‘sexism’ yet. Why is that? There is no doubt in my mind that the world is filled with sexism, but many would not agree. When we hear the word ‘sexism’ we tend to think of a time gone by, when women were lesser by law, when the men worked and the women raised children, when a man could beat his wife and be protected by law and by society, when women had to leave work if they got married, where sexual harassment and assault were “normal” parts of a workplace. For the purposes of this rant, I’m not going to get into the fact that all of this still happens. But people who argue against Feminism will say that we succeeded against all of this with laws and policy changes many years ago. But I disagree, I think it’s just become more subtle. When Feminism was fighting against blatant sexism, it was easier to point to acts and condemn them. Look, this firm has no women in it; look, this woman was beaten; look, this law is discriminatory. Feminists from that era will almost certainly disagree with me, and that’s fine, but I feel like sexism is so much more insidious nowadays, and that makes Feminism, and what it even is, even harder to understand.

Sexism manifests itself in music, in advertising, on our screens and in our books. All it takes is a quick skim of @everydaysexism on twitter to convince you that it’s still happening IRL as well. But you tell someone you’re a Feminist and you’re bound to get questions. “But why?” “Why not call yourself an equalist?” “Isn’t Feminism unnecessary now?” You have to be on the defence straight away. It should be as normal as anything. Of course we all support women’s rights. Of course we want to eliminate sexism. But it’s not. Feminism is a dirty word. Right now I think it’s dirtier than ever. And why is that? Because we still live in a patriarchal society. Because sexism is still the norm, because there are still gender roles we are afraid to change, because a society without sexism confuses and scares us. We still tell our little girls they should be pretty above all else. We still tell our little boys not to cry. We still expect boys will be better at maths and sport, we still think women who don’t want babies are weird. And Feminism challenges all of that.

If you think Feminism is a dirty word, think about why. Think about the society you live in. How is Feminism portrayed in the media? Who controls how you perceive sexism and equality? Is it the people who benefit from a patriarchal society (and I’m not just talking about men here, for the record)? Is it newspapers and Hollywood and government? Yeah, I’m bordering on a conspiracy theory here, but I think it’s legit. The system works. The system knows how to stifle challengers.

The system wants you to hate Feminism.

 

Trying to find the original source for this, if you know it, pls tell me.

August is Potentially Problematic Opinions Month. Led by Alex from Adventures in TV-Land, a bunch of bloggers will tell you about opinions they hold that might piss you off, or make you think, or be so obvious you can’t believe anyone would think them problematic, opening your eyes to a whole world of people who don’t agree with you. This is my description, by the way, and it’s possible that Alex has a completely different one. Ooooooh Potentially Problematic!

I feel like I have been sharing a lot of my opinions lately. So in some ways, thinking up opinions to blog about has been a bit tricky. And in other ways, this should be the easiest thing in the world for me, she who cannot stop telling everyone her opinions. Today’s rant kind of makes me sound like a conspiracy theorist, though, so that’s new. 

What else is happening in PPOM? (will be updated with links as they happen)

Alexandra Neill has written about how her views on feminism have changed over the last year, and how no one should be made to feel like a "bad feminist".

Britt Aylen has written about how she's a feminist who is writing a screenplay that doesn't pass the Bechdel Test.

Jessica Broadbent has written about classic books that actually aren't worth reading. 

Want to get involved? Click here. 

If you're feeling a bit overwhelmed by opinions, next week I'm going to write about crumpets...