Poor Old Judas

I’ve always had a certain sympathy Judas. Even when I was a Christian, I felt like Judas got such a raw deal. Yes, he is the betrayer, but Jesus needed someone to betray him so that he could die for all our sins and all that. That’s so cruel; it’s as though Judas could never have done anything else, like he had no free will. And then, he kills himself, another sin, and according to some texts is then eternally damned. I mean, sheesh, the guy literally facilitated the saving of all humanity, but because he betrayed Jesus he’s the worst? Un.fair.

There were lots of things that contributed to my becoming an atheist. It happened gradually, and I would never be able to pinpoint an exact moment where I decided I no longer believed, but Judas was always one of my problem points. How could a loving God allow that? No, it’s worse than that, Judas’ betrayal wasn’t something that just happened on God’s watch, it was God’s plan. And even if you want to go with the sort of Vengeful God/ Loving Jesus dichotomy, it’s not like Jesus let Judas off the hook either. He was all “ONE OF YOU WILL BETRAY ME LOL JOKES I KNOW IT’S YOU JUDAS YOU GIT.” That was exceptionally problematic for me as a young, questioning Christian, and not one that the Church ever seemed to have a ready answer for.

One of you will literally stab me in the back with a poorly concealed knife.

When I was 16 we watched Jesus Christ Superstar in Study of Religion at school. The 70s film version, the one in the dessert, the famous one, you know it. Dancers appear out of thin air and leap off stuff, it’s great.

like this

I remember being mostly bemused on my first watching. I thought Herod was hilarious and I couldn’t quite work out if it the film meant to be taking the piss or not, but I also was so taken with the interpretation of Judas. He doesn’t betray for money, he betrays because he thinks Jesus needs to be stopped, because he’s taken it too far. He unwittingly sends Jesus to his death; never believing it will go that far. Poor old Judas indeed.

I’m not really a musical theatre kind of person. I usually find musicals to be over long and bizarre. My exceptions to this rule are Avenue Q, because puppets, Chicago, because it’s amazing, and Jesus Christ Superstar because Judas. Also, JCS is a continuous musical, which makes a lot more sense to me than musicals where there’s a scene that adequately tells the story, but then the characters break out into song anyway, just to drive the point home, just in case you missed it. I’m not obsessive about JCS by any means; I haven’t even seen that many version of it or anything. But I like the songs, and I know lots of the lyrics, and you’re damn right when it was announced that the most recent Arena tour version was touring Australia I signed up for the presale.

Boyfriend and I just got back from a super quick weekend trip to Sydney where we watched Tim Minchin absolutely rock it as Judas Iscariot. Also, obviously, Mel C (The Spice Girls Reigneth!) as Mary Magdalene and new blood Ben Forster as the Man Himself. The entire production is 100% mind-blowing and if you didn’t get a chance to see it fear not, because there’s a DVD and you absolutely must watch it. It. Is. SO. Good. We were in the eleventh row, smack bang in the centre, and I had tears in my eyes from the second it started.

Our view

Tim Minchin is a renowned Atheist and I have seen many Internet commenters reacting very surprised to learn he is in a show about Jesus. It’s possible that some of them are offended Christians, maybe, or bewildered atheists, but I just feel like they are missing the point. Yes, it’s called Jesus Christ Superstar but it’s never been about Jesus for me. It’s Judas’ story. And Judas, despite being devoted to Jesus (you know, before he betrayed him and sent him to his death) was the first person to question Him. And that’s what Atheism is, in my opinion. It’s questioning, it’s doubting, it’s saying “hey wait a second why are we pouring expensive perfume on Jesus, he’s just a guy, can’t we sell it and give the money to the poor?” Minchin himself calls JCSan “atheist musical” and if I was ever going to follow someone blindly (irony intended), it would probably be him.

Can you blame me?

P.S. Sorry the blog is late, it's because of the aforementioned Sydney trip. 

33 Week Challenge Week 10: Get a Tarot Card Reading

Yes, I know, I changed the background. I think I might hate it, but I want to create a super awesome background soon and was also changing some other things so I thought I’d put a generic thing up for now. The new things include links to my favourite blogs I’ve done in my NAQ up the top there. And the first challenge blog too, because it’s starting to get a bit confusing I think. Also I’m trialing a new twitter thing. This one is just as ugly but the other one didn’t make it clear when something was a retweet, so I felt like it looked as though I was stealing other peoples’ funniness.

Soon, the challenge, but first, an anecdote from my bus trip today (written in play form for amusement):

MAN IN HAT stands in the rear doorway for no apparent reason.

LIZZY: Urgh, stupid man in a hat, get out of the doorway, you will get squashed.

MAN IN HAT gets squashed.

LIZZY: huh.

LADY WITH SHOPPING attempts to touch off go card on a faulty machine.

MACHINE: beeeeeeeep

LADY WITH SHOPPING attempts to touch off go card on a faulty machine.

MACHINE: beeeeeeeep

LADY WITH SHOPPING attempts to touch off go card on a faulty machine.

MACHINE: beeeeeeeep

LADY WITH SHOPPING attempts to touch off go card on a faulty machine.

MACHINE: beeeeeeeep

LADY WITH SHOPPING tries other machine, it works, she exits through doors that MAN IN HAT has recently evacuated.

ALL OTHER PASSENGERS EVER attempt to touch off go card on faulty machine

MACHINE: beeeeeeep (x 52)

LIZZY: stupid passengers, didn’t they see the lady with the shopping? How dumb can you really be?

LIZZY attempts to touch off go card on faulty machine

MACHINE: beeeeeeep you fucking idiot!

LIZZY escapes with little to no dignity

So ANYWAY. That happened. I thought I would share it for your enjoyment. Not least of all because I am not quite sure how to write up this week’s challenge which was:

No. 8: Get a Tarot Card Reading

Ok, well they were actually Gypsy cards, not Tarot, but close enough. Read by a real life Gypsy, with painted on eyebrows and a Yugoslavian accent who smoked and drank coffee and had clearly made the little sequined cover for her lamp.

So, remember when I went on a rant about the sunrise? And I wouldn’t shut up about what an atheist I am? Yeah, well, this Gypsy lady was pretty convincing yo. Ok, ok, I know what you’re thinking, but seriously, you weren’t there. I can’t even tell you how freaked out I was at times.

On the other hand, I am a rational, logical and skeptical human. Within 5 minutes of leaving I had analysed all the things that had freaked me out and found a reasonable explanation for them. But I wasn’t 100% convinced, just as I wasn’t 100% convinced when I was in the tent that she knew anything about me. So I think what I’m going to do is write about this like I have a split personality. First reaction on the left, rational deconstruction on the right.

So when I first went in I was feeling quite nervous and bothered. I didn’t want to offend the lady by saying something rude or judgmental or dismissive, but I also thought the whole thing was a load of tosh.  Tricky.

Within moments of me sitting down she said to me that I was smiling on the outside but angry or frustrated on the inside. She asked me why I was doing this and I was incapable of answering her, because it totally threw me. It was as if she sensed my discomfort and this really disquieted me.

Within moments of me sitting down, she used body language cues and her skill at reading people’s emotions in their faces and told me I was smiling on the outside but angry or frustrated on the inside. She knew that this might throw me off a little at the start and make me more likely to believe her.

I shuffled the cards and cut them for her. Then she laid them all out. I believe the order of the cards is the significant thing here; I didn’t have to pick any. She asked me absolutely no questions about my life, but when she said things, merely asked if I could relate.

She was quite accurate about a lot of things. She knew that I’d been feeling like I needed to make a big decision, and told me I should do this within 6 days, weeks, or months. I think I have to make this decision around January next year. I didn’t tell her it was my birthday, but it was and I woke up feeling like I was going to turn over a new leaf and try to start my 24th year cleanly. Apparently one of my important cards said that this was the start of a new chapter, and she almost perfectly put into words what I had felt that morning. She was amazingly accurate about my character and personality and knew that I was headstrong, stubborn and a go-getter, but also had self-confidence issues. She said at one point that I had a sadness in my heart, and this touched such a nerve that I actually got slightly teary. I know that sounds stupid, but I have long struggled (fairly publicly, so I’m not afraid to say… also you should never be afraid to say) with feelings of depression. Lately I have had a slight resurgence in these feelings and to have her bluntly say it really shook me. She told me that I was only superficially committed to my relationship, and to relationships in general. Which was frankly wrong. When I told her so, she said that she saw a wall there, and asked if I was putting up walls for some other reason. I have been lacking in a lot of self-confidence in many of my relationships lately. She was creepily spot on about members of my family. Boyfriend also got his cards read after I did. We both had the same first card, ‘sunshine’. In my reading she said this represented the guardian angel, and it meant that even if there were bad things in my cards, it meant things were going to be ok. When he got it, she said that it represented me and showed that I was important to him; the basis or foundation of his life. Lovely.

Many people who go to tarot/gypsy card readers are probably trying to make up their mind about something. It was a safe bet to suggest that I was. Also 6 days, weeks, or months? Nice and vague there, that covers a lot of time! Again, I suspect a lot of people feel as though they are starting anew, or want to be starting anew when they go to have their cards read. I wear no-nonsense clothes and have a brand-new bluntly cut hairstyle, I went with my boyfriend but didn’t look to him regularly for reassurance, I have many nervous physical habits. These outward attributes of mine beam out to the world that I am all of these things. You might have to be a bit clever to see it, but not psychic. Depression is one of the most common afflictions affecting Australians today, particularly those in my age group. And even without that, most people are sad or have sadness about something. She was wrong, and when I called her on it, she didn’t provide an alternate explanation, but asked me for information, which I freely gave to her. Yes, my dad doesn’t always support my choices. I have piercings and work in the theatre industry… she didn’t have to stretch far to come up with that one did she! Coincidence. Yes, it is lovely. But I don’t think it’s any secret we quite like each other. She also thought we had communication issues, which couldn’t be further from the truth so, you know, I guess when you’re a gypsy card reader you win some/lose some.

And that, dear bloggeroos is the end of my story. It was the strangest birthday activity I’ve ever done and would highly recommend it to others. I hope I’ve made it clear that I have room in my brain for both these interpretations of the experience. Seriously, this has been one of the hardest blogs to write ever.

I would like to draw your attention to a sad loss, that of challenge no. 23 – get dreadlocks. Unfortunately, no. 23 died this week, that is, the potential for no. 23 to ever happen was squashed when I spur-of-the-moment decided to cut all of my hair off. (EDIT: Just realised I missed an excellent opportunity to make the terrible pun, "deadlocks"- tragic).


This happens to me sometimes. Photographic evidence follows:

You can't even tell I had a needle and can't feel parts of my face! Right? You can't tell, right?

Also. I got a tumblr. I'm not really sure what to do with it yet but I realised I could have an amusing play on the words Hum Drum Plum as a title... so that's pretty much the reason I have one. If you also have one, find me here (fixed link) and teach me things, please.