Sunday, December 15, 2013

FREE GIFT! A Love Letter to You.


Well readers, this kinda snuck up on me, but this is actually my last post for the year!

 

Boyfriend and I are off on a four week trip to the UK so I’m giving myself a holiday from blogging too – I’ll be back late January with tales, anecdotes, photos and jet lag. It’ll be awesome. And don’t worry, yes, we are visiting both the Harry Potter studio tour and Doctor Who Experience.

So, with that in mind, I’d like to embark on a nostalgic post about all the ways I love you, my readers. Please read (or scroll) to the end for a very important announcement about A FREE GIFT.


First up, can I just say you are looking really sexy today, all of you, yep, even you.

No but seriously, I love you for reading what I write, for commenting, for liking, for lurking and for sharing. Every year I am blown away by how much support I get from you guys and I just want to say thank you. This year in particular, I was overwhelmed by the responses I got on my survey, and you all helped me realise that I could keep doing this, that I *should* keep doing this, and that everything was going to be ok.
Writing for others is really scary, even if all you are writing is stupid lists and introspective self-indulgence. Other people reading my words has always been a dream and to know that you are all there, on the other side of screens is amazing.
I love you for critiquing me, for helping me to be better, I love you even when you don’t read every single week (it’s a lot, don’t ever feel bad) and I love you even if this is the first post of mine you’ve ever read.

 
To my friends and family, you have been with me from the start, and I love you, you’re the best, sorry I don’t call.

To the people who feel weird because they don’t really know me but we’re friends on facebook, you make up the largest part of me readership, stop feeling weird, honestly, I love you. (Am I making you feel weirder? *strokes cheek*)
To the friends I’ve made on the internet, or because of this blog, or both. I love you IRL.

To the people who keep finding my Sansa Stark post on tumblr, I love you, don’t ever change.
To the random people who only ever used me for my stolen Disney images… I don’t like, *love* you as such, but we are definitely cool.

As a thank you to all of you, I would like to give you personalised Christmas blog gifts. These gifts will be in the form of short videos of me saying something fun about you from somewhere in the UK! Want one? (Of course you do!) All you have to do is tell me, in the comments, on facebook, IRL, however you want that you do. If you have a specific request, then let me know and I’ll try to make your dreams come true. They will be delivered to you upon my return, and they will be glorious.

 
Have a wonderful holiday, enjoy whatever it is you’re doing, know that I miss you and (in case you hadn’t picked it up yet) I FLIPPIN LOVE YOU YO.

 

Lizzy xx

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Lady Songs

One day you’ll find yourself rocking out to some tunes, it will be just a normal day, maybe you’re on the bus, headphones on, maybe you’re doing the housework and dancing with a broom, or just chilling on your bed with some songs, anyway, whatever it is, one day you’ll be doing it, and it will dawn on you that the last x amount of songs all featured dudes. Like heavily featured dudes. Dude singers, dude instrumentalists, dude lyricists and dude DJs. Startled, you will start to flick through tracks: dude, dude, lady and a dude, lady but only as a sample on a dude’s song, dude, dude, dude.

You will stop then, and ask yourself, where my bitches at?

Or maybe you won’t. Maybe flicking through your songs will produce a more balanced mix, or even a lady heavy mix, I don’t know, maybe you’re better than me. But if you *do* have a moment, like I did earlier this year, do not despair. Because your bitches are right there, waiting for you to listen to their tunes. Despite what our itunes libraries would suggest, there are HEAPS of lady artists out there, good ones, great ones, we just don’t buy their music as often as we buy dude music. And I have got some recommendations for you!

M.I.A - Boyz


You probably remember the song that goes "all I wanna do is *gunshot* *gunshot* *gunshot* and *ca-ching!* and take your money" but M.I.As other songs are also great. It was hard for me to choose one but I ultimately settled on this one because how nice is it to see ladies singing about dudes like this? About ten. Also that film clip yo. 

Peaches - Boys Wanna be her.


No list about lady singers would be complete without Peaches. And this song is winner. 


Beyonce - Girls

Ok so you should probably know that I have a playlist dedicated only to lady singers entitled "Who Run the World?" and yes I do dance like an idiot whenever this song comes on. Sometimes Beyonce says really weird things that kind of make my feminism cringe (my feminism is a person now?) but she is still great, and this song is amazing, and my dancing is a sight to behold.

Bertie Blackman - Mercy Killer


Australian Lady Songs! Yes! Bertie Blackman has an amazing voice and her songs are win. This is probably my favourite though.

Kate Miller-Heidke - Sarah


I've loved KMH for some time, so it's very hard to pick just one of her songs for this list, but this one is kind of amazing and I heard it for the first time live. It's incredibly haunting and bizarre and those drums are AMAZING. Also a true story (almost - happened to a friend of Kate's), which is creepy as hell.

Nicki Minaj - Va Va Voom


I love Nicki Minaj. I mean, sometimes her music is really terrible (like if I ever hear Starships ever again I may have to pierce my own eardrums with sticks) but other times it's really good. This song, is one of those. I think what I love most about Nicki Minaj is that she somehow rides this incredible line between femininity and the "man's game" that is her style of music. Also you should youtube "Nicki Minaj bossing up" for an incredibly candid Minaj-style feminist rant. 


Kimya Dawson - Loose Lips



Kimya Dawson is a perfect human being and this song is also perfect and I know all the words and isn't it WONDERFUL?

Janelle Monae - Q.U.E.E.N.


You know this song right? Everyone should know and love this song. I'm not even going to talk about it, just watch.




If you’re asking yourself why this matters, well I get that, it’s just music right? It’s not the end of the world, why on earth should it matter? Well I don’t think you need to go away and count the ladies and dudes in your playlists and make sure you have perfect ratios or anything. But I believe that the little things we do can make a difference. That difference might just be opening your eyes to gender inequality in a particular industry, or just to new music, which is always nice. The difference can also be bigger than that. More ladies can make more music for our ears if only we actually bought their songs! It starts with us, the consumer, we can be better buyers, better humans, better song listeners. And we can listen to songs about dinosaurs.




Sunday, December 1, 2013

Getting my Make Up Done in a Shopping Centre - A Review

We are in a shopping centre in Toowoomba, looking for clothes that might help us stay warm during our impending UK trip when it happens. I stop for just a second too long when the man selling makeup in one of those middle-of-the-aisle shops tries to talk to me. I say to Boyfriend, “hang on, do you mind if I just…” and suddenly my life is no longer in my control.

The man takes me by the hand, “let me show you how good it is” he says in an accent I can’t pick and then, look down, look up, I am sitting down in one of those makeup chairs and Boyfriend is making “what is happening?” eyes and I am making “I’m not really sure” eyes and the makeup guy is making “ca-ching!” eyes and we all silently acknowledge that I’m about to spend a lot of money.

“Do you have dry or oily skin?”

I have neither but I don’t want to seem rude, so I tell him that it is dry. He gives me some moisturiser to put on as I silently contemplate why I think it would be rude to say, “hello my skin is kind of ok?”

Then he examines my face and chooses a shade of foundation that will go with it. This is the real reason I stopped long enough for this to happen in the first place. I’ve never bought foundation before (not real stuff, anyway) and I want to stop looking like an incompetent child when I paint my face for special occasions.

He begins to apply the crushed up rock (mineral foundation grrrrl) to one side of my face and I try not to stare at his nose pimple that is basically 100% in my eye line. About 2 minutes in I start to panic that he’s going to leave me half made up unless I pay him and then he makes that exact joke and I am relieved, but also completely aware of how much I am being had right now.

I googled "make up half face" and was pleased with the results.


He’s finished, and he uses a handheld mirror to show me small sections of my face. “You see how blotchy it is on this side? How smooth it is on the other?” Yes, thanks guy. In truth the makeup is really nice, and feels excellent and he also drops in a few lines about not being tested on animals etc. but still, the shame tactics are A+.

After evening me up, we begin to discuss blush. I tell him I have literally never worn blush in my life (I don’t think, anyway) and, undeterred, he goes on a small rant about how ‘feminine’ is too feminine when it comes to blush. I don’t want pink, oh no, he says, that is much too feminine, but I’m also much too young for the darker, redder shades, which are too mature for me. I am an inbetween lady, it would seem. It’s a good thing I’ve got this dude here to police how feminine I should be, or else I’d get it all wrong.

No but, I probably would, let’s be real.

He settles on a “plummy” shade. And not only is there no “Hum Drum” shade, I embarrassingly don’t even make this connection myself until Tim points it out on facebook later. Pimple man shows me how you can mix the blush with clear lip balm to make a lip balm that perfectly matches your blush. It is like watching a wizard at work. Is this how other women live? Like, is makeup this cool all the time? Do you all have matching lips and cheeks? That’s awesome.

Finished with painting my face, the pimply man collects together all the items he wishes to sell me (foundation, blush, 2 brushes) and generously throws in a free pot of the lip balm so that I, too, can be a wizard. He hurriedly rattles off how much this little pile will cost me and I know that now I must speak up.

“Thanks but I think I will just take the foundation and one brush please”.

His smile stays in place, but the free lip balm mysteriously disappears when he is putting my things into a paper bag. Somehow, even after money has changed hands, he is still not done with me. The guy is a master. Now he is showing me a nail buffer, now he is filing my pinkie nail, now he is moisturising my hands. He is walking me over to *another* shop... “NO!” I almost yell, “I have to go, thank you so much.” I disentangle myself from his shop, find Boyfriend, and basically run away.


3 stars


Monday, November 25, 2013

A Journey through Space, Time and TV



It really wasn’t so long ago that I didn’t know anything about Doctor Who. In those dark days I thought that it was about a time-travelling Doctor who was progressively getting younger (like I’m not sure I realised he had to die when a new actor came along? And I definitely thought he was a medical doctor of some kind). I had a niggling feeling for some years that I would probably enjoy it but just didn’t have the willingness to commit to such a well… commitment.

When I was at school, ABC used to play old episodes of Doctor Who at about 5 in the afternoon. They were always in black and white, I think, so they were all First and Second Doctor stories. I don’t remember anything about them except that the music made me scared and my mum would always say “oh I was so terrified of Daleks when I was a little girl”. I was pretty fearful myself to be honest and would usually subtly change the channel in an attempt to not seem like a scaredy-cat. 

In the years leading up to 2011 (when I became a massive fan) I saw parts of The Shakespeare Code in a second year drama class at uni. We discussed the historical accuracies (vulgarity, men dressed as ladies etc.) and inaccuracies (racial diversity, mostly, and also you couldn’t perform at night because there weren’t any lights). I thought to myself, “well that was silly” but also I was annoyed my lecturer skipped through parts because I wanted to know more. I also saw The Waters of Mars on the TV once. I suspect it was when it was actually released for the first time. I had *zero* idea what was going on, but I kept shushing people when they came into the room because it was good (the robot was not good though, the robot was dumb).

So, those of you who are long time readers (first time writers) will remember my first proper foray into Doctor Who. I decided to begin with Season 5 of the modern reboot because it was the start of the current Doctor and I didn’t want to make too big of a commitment. Hahahahaha. Hilarious. I was instantly hooked. And, of course, doing that introduced me to the mysteries of River Song and everyone was like “you have to watch back further to understand her” and I was like “oh no an excuse to watch more of this brilliant show” so instead of continuing on into Season 6 as I had originally planned, I went back to Season 1… and I took my housemates and my boyfriend with me.

We began marathonning the shit out of that show. I used to finish work in the afternoon and would basically run home across New Farm Park so that we could start as soon as possible. Whole weekends were devoted to Who. And we often had to rewatch episodes to catch up Boyfriend or others visitors to the house. We watched all of Eccleston’s run as the leading man in about 2 days, we hated Martha together, we loved Donna together, we watched Season 5 AGAIN (probably about my fourth time at this point) and finally moved on to Season 6.

And then suddenly, we were caught up. AND WE HAD TO WAIT. Just like every other fan, we had to wait for Let’s Kill Hitler. Admittedly, we didn’t have to wait anywhere near as long as others, but still, it was quite a shock to our systems. I’ve just checked the dates, I started watching in early June, 2011, and the second half of Season 6 started up again on August 27th. So I think that gives you an idea of just how much TV we were watching and just how quickly we became fans.

Yesterday I got up at 5:30 in the morning to watch the live simulcast of The Day of the Doctor 50th Anniversary Special with Boyfriend. I made TARDIS shaped biscuits for the occasion and almost hyperventilated when it started. I know there are fans who’ve loved this show since 1963, or who have watched every classic episode, or who waited decades for the reboot. I know. But I feel like the episode yesterday was for all of us, new and classic, young and old, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

My Doctor Who journey has been swift but intense. I loved it instantly and completely, and continue to love it every day. I have Doctor Who shirts and an apron and a mug, I have a Sonic Screwdriver and more TARDIS biscuits than I know what to do with right now. In just over a month I am visiting Cardiff, Wales, almost entirely because that's where they film it. 


And on Christmas day this year, I have to deal with my first ever real-time regeneration…

*Ugly sobbing*

Further Reading

If you like blogs and Doctor Who and blogs about Doctor Who I can highly recommend this post by Britt, and this, this and this, by Alex. 

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Why I Don't (*gasp*) Shave.

There’s this thing called No ShaveNovember. It’s like Movember, in that it’s for cancer fundraising, but it’s unlike Movember in that it suggests both men and women can participate in it.

Except they can’t, not in the same way, not really.

For men not to shave, it means developing an interesting or amusing, socially acceptable face-statement. For women not to shave, it means grossness.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen men have the piss taken out of them during Movember, we all have. There’s always someone with a wispy excuse for a stash, someone who’s upper lip hair looks like a giant, horrifying hair worm from hell, who cops flack for letting it grow. But it’s all in good fun, isn’t it? And we’ll still put some money in the tin for them because it’s for cancer, and their face hair, while amusing, is totally fine, really.


I haven’t shaved my armpits in months.

I haven’t shaved my legs in years.


Did either of those statements make you freak out? Did either of them change your opinion of me? Why is that?

I get looks now. They are subtle looks, for sure, but they are there. They are always followed by an embarrassed look away, the way someone might react if they were caught staring at someone with a facial deformity. I always smile at people when this happens, to let them know it’s ok.

I am lucky in that my leg hair is blonde, and no one except me or Boyfriend ever get close enough to notice that it is there. My armpit hair is also light, but not blonde; it grows slowly and lightly, but it is this that people stare at. And it is ok with me that they look, because it is unusual. I don’t know any other women with armpit hair like mine. Or else, I’ve never noticed any. And maybe seeing it will make some people question it, I hope, because I think more people should try it.

I’m NOT saying EVERYONE should do it all the time. I am the kind of feminist who thinks women and men should be able to do whatever they like with their bodies. So if you like to have silky smooth legs and armpits then go for your life. But there is another option available to you. And I want people to know all the facts.

First of all, you have been told that it is unhygienic to leave bits of you unshaved. This is a fallacy, and it’s also illogical. Men have hairy armpits and no one calls them unhygienic for it. You’re not about to encourage lice into your pits, I promise. The only difference to my hygiene routine is that I take about 10 extra seconds to scrub my armpits in the shower in the morning. That’s it. I actually experience less sweaty patches on my shirts because there’s hair there now, doing what it’s supposed to do, catching sweat.  Fucking anatomy man, it knows what it’s doing.

Secondly, shaving does not equate “looking after yourself”. While I won’t deny that laziness was a factor in my choice to stop shaving (particularly my legs, that shit is a bitch), I’m not “letting myself go”. In fact, by not shaving my legs, I’ve experienced a revolution in my skin. Gone are the days of horrible dry legs, having to exfoliate all the time, and relying on moisturiser. My legs are no longer crying out in pain all the time because I’ve stopped scraping a horrible old razor across them all the time. It’s just logic. Meanwhile, I no longer have that horrible, blinding sting you get when you spray deo on a newly shaved armpit, and I don’t have to battle with stubble or in-grown hairs. Which is a real win.

Next up, razor companies are the devil. In the early part of the last century, short sleeve and sleeveless dresses became a thing, and a whole new market opened up to the people who’d previously been selling their razors to dudes only. Just think how clever they felt when they thought this up. Hair that no one had ever had out in public was suddenly anissue. And armpit shaving was born. Razor companies cackled to themselves maniacally, started making *pink* razors and sold body shame like it was going out of fashion. Unfortunately, it was not.  

Leg shaving came along during and after World War 2, when silky stockings became a thing. Now, I see the logic here, because it really is quite odd to have hairs sticking through your nice stockings. But which came first? The razor companies or the stocking companies? I might be getting into some bullshit conspiracy theory territory here, but the point is, everything anyone’s ever told us about body hair, that it’s “gross” that it’s “dirty”, “unladylike” or “masculine” has come to us straight from some old-fashioned advertisement. And it never went away. We’ve accepted it, as we’ve accepted painful waxing, plucking, shame and stigma. And frankly, that pisses me off. I don’t like doing things for illogical reasons, particularly reasons that have been created to take my money. I need that money, for food and books and such.

I’m not saying I’ll never shave again. I live in society and society tells us what is normal and nice and fashionable. The last time I shaved my pits was because I wanted to wear a particular dress and have a particular look, but I’ve worn it since without doing so and not felt weird. There may well come a time when I decide to take it up again, or shave my legs for a once off occasion. Or whatever. But for now, I’m enjoying being a little hairier than I once was, I’m enjoying not battling rusty, horrible razors in my tiny shower and I’m enjoying not paying Gilette for the pleasure.

And you know what else? I actually like how it looks.


And, I’m putting out the call. We’re half way through November. Ladies, can you go til the end of the month without shaving? You don’t have to tell me about it, if you don’t want, but I encourage you to try it. And if you’re a dude who’s read this and been “grossed out” by all this talk of hair, I encourage you to shave your pits *and keep them free from stubble and in-grown hairs* til the end of the month as well, and then get back to me.