Thursday, May 17, 2012

Country/Girl: A Good Day



Plants, they're a thing.


“Is it very far from your house?”

“Yeah, it’s right on the edge of town, probably about as far from my place as you can get. About a 5 minute drive”

Small town living is still such a new experience to me, but sometimes I do catch myself saying stuff like this, without any trace of humour in my voice. Perspective changes when you move somewhere like Dalby. Once I thought Toowoomba was a tiny, hole of a place, and now it seems like a massive city. Driving through it takes aaaaaaaaaages. Beautifully, I know this must mean that there are people living in even smaller towns who think Dalby is way too big and I have met people who consider those of us that live in town to be ‘townies’, not real country people like those who live on properties in the region.

I am obviously not a real country person, because I’m so new, but I really am loving the small town life. Yesterday was a really good day, let me step you through it.

7:45am – I drag myself out of bed at the earliest time I’ve had to in a long while. Ah, unemployment, you sexy beast. It is way too cold to be alive.

8am – I eat a delicious warm breakfast of porridge with berries and, of course, a cup of tea. This has become so routine for me I find myself going to sleep actually excited about my breakfast in the morning. It’s so delicious. And this is huge for me considering I spent many years not being able to stomach anything before about 10am.

8:15am – I doll myself up all corporate like

8:45am – I leave the house for a job interview. It’s nice and close so I walk.

9am – Job interview. I’ve already been interviewed by this company, and I’m not 100% sure what to expect here.

9:15am – I realise he is offering me a job. Not the job I applied for but one I have absolutely no experience in. He says I have the right attitude/temperament for it and would like to train me. I am chuffed but stunned and ask him if I can think about it, he is more than happy to oblige.

9:30am I am home already and spend some time contemplating the position I have been offered. I also call my mum and drink some tea. I spend some time cultivating my tea tumblr and interacting with humans I know on the internet.

11:30am I call my Nana. We talk for more than an hour about all sorts of things, but specifically we discuss gardening in great detail. She is a master. I describe my little yard to her and she gives me advice on what I can do with it. She spends some time trying to convince me to take furniture from her even though we live quite far away from each other and none of it would fit in my house.

12:45pm – I contemplate the special dinner I might make for my friends when they come up this weekend and write a shopping list.

1pm – At the mall in town, I discover the GLORIOUS news that the deli now sells sushi. It is a brand I know to be actually good. This is the only sushi in town, and I am so excited I order a sandwich instead. The sandwich has Brie on it and I am so excited about the sushi I text my mum to let her know. She calls me again and we have a brief chat.

1:15pm – I look for some people I need to interview for the ABC Open workshops I am doing. There are 2 people in particular I see all the time who I think would be really interesting to talk to. Of course they are nowhere in sight.

1:30pm – I go grocery shopping. Riveting stuff here, people. Oh, also I buy a crotchet needle and some yarn because I’m AWESOME.

2:30 pm – Deciding to take some of my Nana’s advice, I go to the giant Mitre 10 and buy some dirt and a trowel. One of the ladies who works there is super rude for no reason, and this is so out of character with pretty much everyone I’ve ever met here that I am stunned and outraged. They don’t sell plants, but the nice man at the counter tells me where the landscaping place is.

2:40pm – Driving around town to all these little places, I get a sudden and overwhelming rush of love for Dalby. The sun is shining, everyone (except that Mitre 10 lady) is lovely and helpful. The streets are wide and everything is close together. I’m running all these errands and they’re all within spitting distance of each other. I don’t even care that I accidentally scraped my car with the trowel.

2:45pm – THE LANDSCAPING PLACE IS AMAZING. It is beautiful and full of lovely plants and garden things and house things and I want to spend FOREVER there. I manage to only spend about 20 minutes there, and pick out some great little plants that are on sale. I tell the guy I will probably see him again soon because I’ll kill the plants and he encourages me to try not to.

3:15pm – sitting in my backyard, happy as a kid in dirt. Because I am, in fact, a kid in dirt. I pot all my new little plants in pots I stole from my mother’s garden last time I was in Brisbane. I make a little corner of the garden come alive with herbs and lavender and things. There’s a strawberry plant too but I don’t have a lot of hope for that one, it’d be too good to be true to have my own strawberries.

3:45pm – I get the old, ugly hose working and water everything. I also clean the outside walls a bit and fill a plastic bag with crap the last tenant left in the yard; cigarette butts and broken pegs and things. I decide not to despair about just how much crap there is and take it one plastic bag at a time. If I chip at it for a few weeks it should be nice again soon.

4pm – I shower all the dirt off me and contemplate that job some more.

4:30pm – I potter on the internet again.

4:55pm – I get a call from another place I have been interviewed at. He asks me to come in for a THIRD time tomorrow morning at 8:30 and I agree hurriedly before really finding out why.  SPOILER – it’s to offer me the job, which I totally just accepted! Hooray! 

5pm – I wash the dishes and Boyfriend gets home. I regale him with my excellent day (while wearing soap sud gloves) and make him come and stare at herbs, which he says look great.

6pm – I make Shepherd’s Pie while Boyfriend plans his lessons.

7pm – We eat Shepherd’s Pie. Delicious. It’s excellent ABC TV night so we watch Doctor Who (Are you my mummy?), Randling, Seven Dwarves (such a great documentary, I love it) and Laid (although at this point Boyfriend has gone back to planning).

10:30pm – We go to bed and I spend half an hour half sleepily convincing myself that the interview the next day is actually a race and if I get there after the other final applicant (there was no other final applicant in the end of course) then I’ll lose the race and they’ll give me a silver medal but no job. 

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Internet Fame


One day I’d like to be internet famous. I’m not really sure why I want this. I’ve never wanted to be any other kind of famous. I know lots of people do, I personally know lots of people who do want real life fame, or who have in the past, but it’s never really been my thing. My grandma often talks about my name one day “being in lights” (I think this is a prerequisite for being a grandma) but I’ve always thought what a horrible thing that would be. Imagine not being able to go places and enjoy them because people think you owe them something… a photo, an autograph, a smile. Sometimes you want to go places and frown, you know? And not have people analysing that the next day.

This is why internet fame would be the best kind of fame. I could be famous from my own living room. I could be famous and still get to wear my dressing gown all the time (like I’m doing right now). I know this is naïve, I know that lots of internet famous people get mobbed and have stalkers and have to… you know, engage with other people in the real world, but this is a pipe dream people, let me smoke it how I want.

I think it’s probably a bit embarrassing to admit you want internet fame. It’s something that’s just meant to happen, and you’re not meant to expect it, or know what to do with it. And you have to be humble and surprised when your tweets get retweeted 50+ times and your ask box on tumblr gets swamped with requests for sexual favours. Of course, I WOULD be quite surprised, and humbled… but I’d also be mother effing excited. “Eeeee”, I would say, “I’m internet famous!” I would yell.

I guess the real reason I would like people to be my internet followers/stalkers/friends/lovers is because I like writing things, I like people to read the things I write and the internet is an easy way to share things that I write with people who can read. I’m also quite lazy, so if I can achieve maximum readership with minimum hair brushing, then that’s a real win for me. Extra points if there’s chocolate in the fridge.

I try to write funny tweets, but I’m still learning at that one. It really wasn’t so long ago I was using twitter as a means to drunkenly embarrass myself in 140 characters or less, so it’s early days. Now I’m always sober when I use twitter, and only embarrass myself 47% of the time, almost always deliberately, so that’s something.

I made a tumblr devoted entirely to tea the other day. This has been an instant success with no less than 55 tea-loving heroes signing up to follow my daily tea obsession. I have no idea what to do with this kind of power.

Obviously, my biggest chance at internet stardom is this here blog. Not only do I have a number of people who actually read it every time (you guys, I actually love you), I also genuinely enjoy writing it, and believe I’m getting better at it too. So that’s why I am completely chuffed to share this image with you all.



That’s right, today I hit 10, 000 overall views of Hum Drum Plum. Actually, truth be told I hit 9,999. I really wanted to get a screenshot of the big moment, but of course the big moment didn’t arrive. So I asked Boyfriend to look at my blog, refreshed the page and BAM, captured. So yes, I sort of cheated, but it made a good story, and we are all about good stories here at the Plum.

In conclusion, I made a facebook fan page. Yeah, this was all a big lead up to this plug (no, it wasn’t, not really I swear!). But anyway, if you’d like a nice easy way to get updates on when I upload things/ want to easily comment on things without having to get a google account/an open ID (nobody even knows what that is), then please like my facebook page. Don’t be scared, clicky clicky.

Also you may have noticed my blogs now come with little reaction boxes. These are a really lazy and pleasant way to interact with me. It’s like you saying “hey, I’m here, I read the thing and it wasn’t shit, great so please continue” without actually having to say it.

Thanks for all your support/lurking.

L

P.S I’m going to revamp the page soon I PROMISE, so it won’t be as offensive to your eyes anymore.