Why I Voted for Thrift Shop

I first heard Thrift Shop by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis on Triple J a few months ago. Yeah that’s right, I was into it before it was cool, what up. I couldn’t work out what they were saying at first: “pop some what?” it sounded like a drug reference or something. But the sexy sax and ridiculous hook (yeah I know rap terms, come at me!) had me looking it up as soon as I got home.

Boyfriend and I have been singing and dancing to Thrift Shop for months now, bopping along to it in the car, learning the words, getting all excited when it comes on. I don’t listen to commercial radio (well not by choice anyway… hashtag hipster), but I heard it in the post office and giggled because it was uncensored. All these little old ladies in line with their packages trying to ignore it was a sight to behold. In fact, I would go so far as to say it was fucking awesome.

The film clip is hilarious, a piss take on the hip-hop and rap culture of excess with a fun dance break in an op shop, what’s not to love?

Apparently, everything.

A quick look at twitter the day before the countdown revealed tweet after tweet of “if Thrift Shop wins the top spot I’m going to punch something”, “I will pull my own teeth out”, “I will lose all faith in humanity”. When it did win, the feed exploded with people suggesting that the "wrong kind of people" had voted, that "music was dead", that this was the fucking end of days or something. I know twitter is not always an accurate representation of reality, but I couldn’t get over how much hate there was. So I revisited the video.

Yep. Still good, still hilarious. It’s poppy as all hell but the rap is still actually very good. The beat is brilliant. I like a lot of stuff they play on Triple J, but you’ve got to admit not much is as upbeat as Thrift Shop. In fact for a while during the middle of the Hottest 100 I was dangerously close to napping. There’s a lot of quiet, introspective stuff around at the moment. Which isn’t a bad thing, but it’s refreshing to find something so fun. And what’s more, Thrift Shop has a great message. Op shopping is a really great thing to do for charity, for the environment, for your own wardrobe. More and more people do it, and come on hipsters, TELL me you aren’t proud of your thrift shop bargains, isn’t this what we do? Buy cheap ridiculous things and try to pass them off as fashion? I know I do.

If the number one song was something I liked, but a not very “Triple J”-type song, I could understand the backlash. But like I said, I heard it first on the Js and I’m fairly certain they were the first in Australia to play it. Yeah the mainstream stations picked it up pretty quickly, but that’s because it has a broad range of appeal. And besides, why would a popular song *not* win a popularity contest? It’s science! 

The popularity of Thrift Shop has led people to discover other music by Macklemore. Same Love, an anthem in support of same-sex marriage made it to number 15 in the Hottest 100 and is at the top of multiple charts in many countries. Can you even process that? A song about gay marriage, about tolerance and support, about how we shouldn’t say “gay” in youtube comments or call kids “faggot”? That’s what’s topping charts right now. And that’s a bloody good thing. And while the song is great in its own right, I am certain it would not have found as much popularity without riding in the wake of Thrift Shop. And THAT is fucking awesome. 

Converted

Clearly that is stained glass...

Internet is the new religion.

We worship at altars named Safari and Chrome and Firefox daily, and some old-fashioned people still worship at an old decrepit relic known as Internet Explorer. We connect through personal reflection on smart phones every few hours.

Personally, I live in the way of the Internet; everything I do is of the Internet, for the Internet and to the glory of the Internet. I love it and it loves me. Sometimes, the Internet punishes me for reasons I don’t quite understand. I do not question when the Internet shows me unending cat gifs or Sherlock/Watson fanfic, for the Internet moves in mysterious ways. The Internet knows best.

I pay a part of my monthly income to the Internet and it forms a part of my professional, social and family lives. Without it I am lost, wandering in the desert, helpless.

Trolls and cyber bullies try to misuse the Internet. They start holy flame wars and try to blame their problems on the Internet. But the Internet can be used for good; for charity, for helping others and raising awareness. It can be used to spread love and joy, happiness and fun. This is the true way of the Internet, and those who walk in the light know this in their hearts and hard drives.

The Internet is not like most, modern religions; it celebrates sex and sexuality. In fact it’s kind of pagan in its worship of all things sex.

The Internet has its own community of worshippers, brought together by the glory of the Internet, to bask in its love and share its joy with one another. I have many friends with whom I share a deep connection due to our shared love of the Internet. We met through the Internet, and worship daily together.

I am zealous in my conversion of others. I will enthusiastically show them videos and pictures when we meet IRL (In Real Life – a sad existence sans Internet) and discuss the merits of my favourite ways to worship – Twitter, Tumblr, my blog. I am always glad and excited when I help someone to become even closer to the Internet. And the Internet rewards me when I do this by giving me a new follower, a new person to interact with, a new reader.

The Internet is open to interpretation, and is its own holy text.

The Internet sent a prophet to us, his name is Stephen Fry and he is the one, true embodiment of the Internet.

The Internet’s most holy ritual is the scrolling through and checking of one’s entire feed.

The Internet’s most holy image changes regularly, as it is the Google Home Page.

The Internet’s most holy animal is the cat.

All hail the Internet.

Internet Fame

One day I’d like to be internet famous. I’m not really sure why I want this. I’ve never wanted to be any other kind of famous. I know lots of people do, I personally know lots of people who do want real life fame, or who have in the past, but it’s never really been my thing. My grandma often talks about my name one day “being in lights” (I think this is a prerequisite for being a grandma) but I’ve always thought what a horrible thing that would be. Imagine not being able to go places and enjoy them because people think you owe them something… a photo, an autograph, a smile. Sometimes you want to go places and frown, you know? And not have people analysing that the next day.

This is why internet fame would be the best kind of fame. I could be famous from my own living room. I could be famous and still get to wear my dressing gown all the time (like I’m doing right now). I know this is naïve, I know that lots of internet famous people get mobbed and have stalkers and have to… you know, engage with other people in the real world, but this is a pipe dream people, let me smoke it how I want.

I think it’s probably a bit embarrassing to admit you want internet fame. It’s something that’s just meant to happen, and you’re not meant to expect it, or know what to do with it. And you have to be humble and surprised when your tweets get retweeted 50+ times and your ask box on tumblr gets swamped with requests for sexual favours. Of course, I WOULD be quite surprised, and humbled… but I’d also be mother effing excited. “Eeeee”, I would say, “I’m internet famous!” I would yell.

I guess the real reason I would like people to be my internet followers/stalkers/friends/lovers is because I like writing things, I like people to read the things I write and the internet is an easy way to share things that I write with people who can read. I’m also quite lazy, so if I can achieve maximum readership with minimum hair brushing, then that’s a real win for me. Extra points if there’s chocolate in the fridge.

I try to write funny tweets, but I’m still learning at that one. It really wasn’t so long ago I was using twitter as a means to drunkenly embarrass myself in 140 characters or less, so it’s early days. Now I’m always sober when I use twitter, and only embarrass myself 47% of the time, almost always deliberately, so that’s something.

I made a tumblr devoted entirely to tea the other day. This has been an instant success with no less than 55 tea-loving heroes signing up to follow my daily tea obsession. I have no idea what to do with this kind of power.

Obviously, my biggest chance at internet stardom is this here blog. Not only do I have a number of people who actually read it every time (you guys, I actually love you), I also genuinely enjoy writing it, and believe I’m getting better at it too. So that’s why I am completely chuffed to share this image with you all.

That’s right, today I hit 10, 000 overall views of Hum Drum Plum. Actually, truth be told I hit 9,999. I really wanted to get a screenshot of the big moment, but of course the big moment didn’t arrive. So I asked Boyfriend to look at my blog, refreshed the page and BAM, captured. So yes, I sort of cheated, but it made a good story, and we are all about good stories here at the Plum.

In conclusion, I made a facebook fan page. Yeah, this was all a big lead up to this plug (no, it wasn’t, not really I swear!). But anyway, if you’d like a nice easy way to get updates on when I upload things/ want to easily comment on things without having to get a google account/an open ID (nobody even knows what that is), then please like my facebook page. Don’t be scared, clicky clicky.

Also you may have noticed my blogs now come with little reaction boxes. These are a really lazy and pleasant way to interact with me. It’s like you saying “hey, I’m here, I read the thing and it wasn’t shit, great so please continue” without actually having to say it.

Thanks for all your support/lurking.

L

P.S I’m going to revamp the page soon I PROMISE, so it won’t be as offensive to your eyes anymore.

33 Week Challenge Week 14: The Hour of my Disconnect

Challenge Number 31: go a week without social networking sites.

Day 1 – Monday

4:30pmish – signed out of everything on my laptop

4:45pm – running late for a meeting, trying to sign out of everything on my phone while walking to a bus.  Holy crap! How do you sign out of twitter? I don’t even know! I’ve never actually done it.

4:50pm – on the slowest bus ever. I spur of the moment decide to just delete the apps from my phone. They sit there, wiggling at me, willing me, desperately to leave them be. But I delete them, furiously. And while I’m at it, I delete an infernal game that I have been addicted to for far too long, “Smurfs” – I suspect it’s like Farmville, except that the workers are blue. Honestly, it’s been ridiculous how addicted to it I am.

6:30pm – wish to write status “there are more interestingly dressed people on this bus than have ever been seen on Brisbane transport. Ever.” Don’t, obviously.

7:15pm – home from meeting, emails sent. Now what should I do? I know… I’ll write about the last 3 hours.

9:40pm just watched the Emma Thompson “Sense and Sensibility” for the first time. I wasn’t able to live tweet my experience so instead resorted to yelling “translations” at my housemates and friend, Mim. Also, I couldn’t stop laughing at things Mim said and wanted to facebook them. That’s my story.

Also, I had to sign in to facebook to get someone’s banking details they’d sent me in a message. I swear. I didn’t check anything, even though you bastards have already left me 11 notifications. GAH!

Day 2 – Tuesday

I had to log in to facebook again because I needed a photo I stupidly haven’t saved to my computer. So proud of myself, didn’t read anything, didn’t check any of the 1 million notifications. But still, it totally felt like cheating. It’s funny how much of my life is on that website, terrifying really.

On a less serious note, I’ve had the Macarena stuck in my head all day and I haven’t been able to get it in every one else’s head by occasionally tweeting “Aaaaay Macarena!” – well I guess I just did. Suck it bloggeroos of the future!

Meanwhile, I did everything on my to-do list AND am about to go for a run and there’s no one to validate my awesomeness. I think I might just start texting people on mass: “Hey friends, guess what? I did something kind of banal but I NEED YOU TO KNOW ABOUT IT IN MINUTE DETAIL!”

Day 3 – Wednesday

Today, I have actual withdrawals. Fidgeting, slight headache, and all I can think about is social networking. Seriously.

Day 4 – Thursday

Tragically – I’m kind of lonely. My housemates and boyfriend are really busy, and I don’t go to uni anymore and see one million people, so sometimes social networking is all I have. That’s not the sad part – I am so down with that. I love being a child of the digital era. But without it, yeah – I was lonely today. BUT THEN I saw a movie with Mim, who is amazing fun. That was pretty sweet. Plus people are texting me a lot more often this week so that’s kind of cool.

Also, also, on Tuesday I ran 3.5km and today I ran 4.5km. WITHOUT. STOPPING. I am kicking butts and taking names. I’ve also completed 2 to-do lists and finished some assessment for a certificate I am 6 months’ late to complete. So, it’s *possible*, I suppose, that social networking may, *at times* hinder me slightly. It’s worth noting, at least. For science.

Day 5 – Friday

I’ve been thinking today about that entry about being lonely. I’ve had as much, if not more social interaction with real humans this week. Definitely more, in fact - I’ve had two coffee dates, seen a movie, there was that Sense and Sensibility night, people keep texting me just to say something anecdotal or pleasant or whatever. And it’s been great. I think what I really meant was I was bored.  Sadly, yes, I clearly am getting confused between “lonely” and “bored” simply because I often stave off boredom by stalking friends, acquaintances and strangers on the internet, and this has made me think I am constantly socialising with people. This is not accurate. I quite like being alone, just so long as I can look at your photos from your overseas trip 3 years ago when I’m bored…

Day 6 – Saturday

I went to Toowoomba last night, and then picked up my little brother from a 5 week camp today out past Crow’s Nest. These are events I would usually like to document, but be frustrated that I couldn’t because a lot of the time I was out of internet range. But in this instance, I didn’t get frustrated even once, because I never intended to status about it in the first place.  Winner.

Day 7 – Sunday

I woke up this morning convinced that if today was the 7^th day, I must have miscalculated, and could definitely log back on tonight. But then I used my counting words/fingers and also some logic and realised that was far from correct. Obviously, when I said a week, I meant 7 full days, which means 4:30pm on Monday. The crushing disappointment!

No, not really. I’ve actually totally coped. And it’s fine. The one big thing I have gained this week is my mornings. I usually spend at least half an hour (usually more) on twitter and facebook in the mornings and am often late to work because of it. But not this week, I’ve been sleeping in! I’ve been ready on time! I got to work before the box office opened at least twice (achievement unlocked!) – this is a new and exciting thing for me. I am going to attempt to maintain it to a degree. The big problem is my twitter feed. I follow over 200 people, and it is very rare that I don’t see every single post from those accounts. As in, I check it last thing at night and then scroll through the last 8 hours worth in the morning. That is intense. And totally unnecessary. While I’m not about to stop checking my things in the morning (because I actually find it a nice way to start the day; connected, informed, and laughing at something Rob Delaney said) I don’t need to read everything. I have lists – why don’t I use them?!

Day 8 – Monday

Well there you go. Just under an hour to go and I feel fine! A successful challenge! And one of the easiest blogs to write.

I’ll sign back in at 4:30, but then I’m off to a meeting at 5:30 so I shall have to start trawling through all the exciting things I know you’ve left for me after that. And also post this blog! It’s weird, it’s like I’m talking to you from the past.

Also, this coming week I’m going to make a kite! Honestly, my life is so thrilling!

Lxx

Gen Y: a state of being

Ah yes, a young person with too much time on her hands starts a blog, it really is only a matter of time before she starts ranting about the whole Generation Y thing.  Gen Ys kinda arch up at the way we are depicted in the media etc, and it is often justified – we get a really bad wrap for our anti-social and ungrateful ways. However, I am not about to arch up* because I am, quite frankly, both anti-social and ungrateful.

But I am going to argue that Gen Y is not an age bracket, or even a generation at all – but a state of being. How many older people (men often) do you know who have an iPhone and know all the lingo and play video games etc etc etc? Like at least 4 right? If everyone knows at least 2 that’s actually quite a significant percentage of the population acting like Gen Y-ers who aren’t Gen Y-ers at all.

And, on the other hand, I know a bunch of well-dressed, well-spoken, organised, punctual, grateful, respectful and generally perfect humans who are 18-25 years old. Can we really call these people Gen Y? Sure, they were born in the 15 or so years after the Gen Xers all grew up, but they don’t fit any of the other defining characteristics. They fail at being Gen Y, which should technically make them win at life in the eyes of older people. It never seems to redeem them though; those poor fucks get lumped in with the rest of us despite their good personal hygiene and lack of twitter accounts.

So, dear reader – you might be asking yourself now, ‘shit, am I Gen Y or not?’ This seems like a pretty stupid thing to be asking yourself, given that you are currently reading a blog and probably simultaneously watching a Youtube video, illegally downloading songs and eating nutella from the jar. But anyway, there is a sure fire way to test your Gen Y status. I speak from absolute experience on this:

Ask yourself, have you ever been lying in bed at night in a location (probably a fabulous holiday location) with little reception and been so desperate for contact with the outside world (be it text, tweet or status) but too lazy to get up that you’ve sleepily held the phone high above your head, arm fully extended, and then DROPPED IT ON YOUR FACE? Well have you?

That is the moment dear friends, when you must concede that no matter how old or socially adequate you are, you do in fact belong to that technophilic, whiney, disrespectful cohort known as Gen Y. Welcome, we’re looking for people to start a social netball team.

*Except to say that it is almost predominantly members of Generation Y (and little old ladies) who consistently thank the driver when they get off the bus. I’m just sayin’…