One day I’d like to be internet famous. I’m
not really sure why I want this. I’ve never wanted to be any other kind of
famous. I know lots of people do, I personally know lots of people who do want
real life fame, or who have in the past, but it’s never really been my thing.
My grandma often talks about my name one day “being in lights” (I think this is
a prerequisite for being a grandma) but I’ve always thought what a horrible
thing that would be. Imagine not being able to go places and enjoy them because
people think you owe them something… a photo, an autograph, a smile. Sometimes
you want to go places and frown, you know? And not have people analysing that
the next day.
This is why internet fame would be the best
kind of fame. I could be famous from my own living room. I could be famous and
still get to wear my dressing gown all the time (like I’m doing right now). I
know this is naïve, I know that lots of internet famous people get mobbed and
have stalkers and have to… you know, engage with other people in the real
world, but this is a pipe dream people, let me smoke it how I want.
I think it’s probably a bit embarrassing to
admit you want internet fame. It’s something that’s just meant to happen, and
you’re not meant to expect it, or know what to do with it. And you have to be
humble and surprised when your tweets get retweeted 50+ times and your ask box
on tumblr gets swamped with requests for sexual favours. Of course, I WOULD be quite surprised, and humbled… but I’d
also be mother effing excited. “Eeeee”, I would say, “I’m internet famous!” I
would yell.
I guess the real reason I would like people
to be my internet followers/stalkers/friends/lovers is because I like writing
things, I like people to read the things I write and the internet is an easy
way to share things that I write with people who can read. I’m also quite lazy,
so if I can achieve maximum readership with minimum hair brushing, then that’s
a real win for me. Extra points if there’s chocolate in the fridge.
I try to write funny tweets, but I’m still
learning at that one. It really wasn’t so long ago I was using twitter as a
means to drunkenly embarrass myself in 140 characters or less, so it’s early
days. Now I’m always sober when I use twitter, and only embarrass myself 47% of
the time, almost always deliberately, so that’s something.
I made a tumblr devoted entirely to tea the
other day. This has been an instant success with no less than 55 tea-loving
heroes signing up to follow my daily tea obsession. I have no idea what to do
with this kind of power.
Obviously, my biggest chance at internet
stardom is this here blog. Not only do I have a number of people who actually
read it every time (you guys, I actually love you), I also genuinely enjoy writing
it, and believe I’m getting better at it too. So that’s why I am completely
chuffed to share this image with you all.
That’s right, today I hit 10, 000 overall
views of Hum Drum Plum. Actually, truth be told I hit 9,999. I really wanted to
get a screenshot of the big moment, but of course the big moment didn’t arrive.
So I asked Boyfriend to look at my blog, refreshed the page and BAM, captured.
So yes, I sort of cheated, but it made a good story, and we are all about good
stories here at the Plum.
In conclusion, I made a facebook fan page.
Yeah, this was all a big lead up to this plug (no, it wasn’t, not really I
swear!). But anyway, if you’d like a nice easy way to get updates on when I
upload things/ want to easily comment on things without having to get a google
account/an open ID (nobody even knows what that is), then please like my
facebook page. Don’t be scared, clicky clicky.
Also you may have noticed my blogs now come
with little reaction boxes. These are a really lazy and pleasant way to
interact with me. It’s like you saying “hey, I’m here, I read the thing and it
wasn’t shit, great so please continue” without actually having to say it.
Thanks for all your support/lurking.
L
P.S I’m going to revamp the page soon I
PROMISE, so it won’t be as offensive to your eyes anymore.
