Country/Girl: Actually Doing It

Actually doing it.

And when I say it, I don’t mean sex.

And if I did, that wouldn’t be any of your business.

Which is why I am not blogging about sex. I'm blogging about the country. 

So. After months of talking about it, of blogging about it, of planning and packing and being actually quite calm with occasional bouts of crazy… I’ve done it. I’ve moved to the country.

Specifically, I have moved to a town of about 10 000 people called Dalby. You may have heard of Dalby, for the first time, just recently, on your radio. Because 3 days after I moved here, Triple J announced they are bringing the One Night Stand here, and now they won’t stop talking about it. They are even doing ‘Dalby facts’. Apparently Dalby is famous for crumbed steak, which begs the question, what is crumbed steak? I mean I understand the principle, it’s delicious steak, wrapped in less delicious crumbs. I just don’t understand the reasoning, the why of it, if you will. Why would anyone ruin a perfectly good steak with crumbs? I’m not sure. I shall do some research and report back.

Triple J also reported on the Criterion pub’s famous Burger Challenge. Now this I can attest to. I went to the Criterion last night, where about 20 people were all set to do this fabled Burger Challenge. As the burgers came out of the kitchen, a piece of mind exploded. They are so huge, so indescribably giant that for about 10 minutes all I could say was, “that’s not a burger that’s…” and there my sentence would end. I don’t know what they were, but they were more food then I would eat in four or five days. The challenge is to eat one in half an hour I think. Again, the why of this baffles me, I have no idea why anyone would want to do this. Except maybe to really piss of starving people.

So other than the excitement of Triple J bringing live music to a town just after I move to it (coincidence? I think not), what else has been happening? Well. Truth be told, a whole lot of not much. Isn’t that why you move to the country? It’s quiet here, and peaceful. Sometimes the main road smells like manure, but we can’t hold that against the road, or indeed Dalby. Sometimes a kingfisher sits in my backyard and sings. Sometimes I write, a lot of the time I watch TV on my laptop. It’s been like an excellent little holiday where no one expects me to do anything or be anywhere and everyday Boyfriend comes home and makes me laugh.

Soon I will need to get ‘gainful employment’, as I believe it’s called. Soon I will need to do stuff that isn’t just watching TV. But for now, I am having a gloriously relaxed time, walking around town, writing around my laptop and drinking tea around my house.

If you ever get sick of your life, or don’t know what you’re doing with it, or aren’t sure why you have it, may I highly recommend you go to the country for a little while, if only to encourage Triple J to put Matt Corby in it too. 

Lizzyish has opinions: Cynicism in the Age of Social Media

The thing about cynicism is that it is ugly. And boring. 'Oh that is so mainstream' is about the most boring way anyone can react to anything. Just because something is popular doesn't make it bad, or unworthy of your time. Sure, it's brilliant to be an individual, and as someone who spent a large part of her late teens with purple hair, I should know. It's important not to go along with something just because it is popular. But that does not automatically work the other way; it is not necessarily important to not go along with something because it is popular. Reject things because you don't like them, reject things because you disagree with them, but blanket cynicism is about as unsexy as you can possibly be.

This applies to everything, from the music you listen to and the tv shows you watch, to the big important things like which charities you donate to and who you vote for on election day.

Obviously, I'm about to rant about Kony2012.

Anyone who has seen that video cannot possibly tell me they weren't moved in some way. Or you might be able to tell me, but I won't believe you. We all know atrocities occur every day around our world, and we often push this knowledge away or try to ignore it, because who can possibly care all the time? How can you take all the suffering and inhumanities in the world on board and not simply feel completely helpless? And so we ignore it, not because we aren't capable of compassion of because we are heartless, but because we simply can't think about it all the time. So when someone makes a video like that, a video that is powerful and heart wrenching, it is easy to take notice. It is easy to sit up in bed, laptop on knee and think, 'fuck. This isn't ok'. What's more important about the Kony2012 video is that it also suggested ways people could help. Simple things, achievable things, the kind of things you could do from your laptop in your bed.

And this is where the cynics come in. "Armchair activists" is something I've seen bandied around a bit, and also "fauxctivists". These people make me feel ill. This is the ugliest cynicism of all. "You don't protest the way I protest, therefore you are wrong" they say, "watching a video won't save children" they shout on Facebook.

Now I'm not talking about the criticisms that have been leveled at the invisible children group. I'm talking about people who are so desperate to be different and unique that they ignore the obvious merits of getting 15 million people to watch and share and form opinions about an atrocity they didn't know was occurring. This is hipsterism in the extreme, and it is unhelpful, ugly... and boring.

Let's talk now about the criticisms. Some of these are serious and some have been exaggerated. To suggest that the campaign is unworthy because Invisible Children  have 'simplified' the issue is like saying we shouldn't vote for politicians because they have campaign slogans. Obviously they've simplified it, it's a half hour video. To talk in depth about economic, political and social difficulties in ANY country, let alone a developing, war torn country would take some weeks and at least three university degrees. However, like many others, I am concerned to hear that the organisation has been criticised for the way it handles its money. Do I want to donate to a cause that spends more on videos than it does on aid? Not usually, no. However, what the Invisible Children people seem to understand more than any activist group I have ever seen is that in this world of social media and smart phones in every pocket, in some instances awareness IS everything. When human rights issues don't affect a major developed nation's economy, or petrol prices, it is easy for this stuff to be ignored. In the era of Get Up and online activism, people are starting to see that they can stand up and say, this is not ok with me, I am not going to allow this any longer, and I dont have to chain myself to anything to prove it. We can have reasoned discussions, we can have impassioned debate and we can petition the people who matter. We don't have to take to the streets screaming and waving placards no one will see. We don't have to look like crazy people when we protest, and that means people will look at us and listen to us, and maybe even join us.

Let's have critical debate, let's not blindly follow, but don't hate for hate's sake, don't reject an idea because it is popular, and never, never be boring.




This is my opinion, feel free to share yours below. 

Lizzyish reviews: Brisbane Comedy Festival - Skills in Time

Skills in Time – Got Dem Big City Dreams – Turbine Studio

“You are, how you say? Ze Whore of Babylon.”

Pre-Show Appreciation Status: I'd heard good things

There is nothing like going to see something completely new and different. Skills in Time (the people who brought you Jaydos and other bizarities via the magic of youtube) have put together a live show that is at times awkward and strange, but regularly funny. Part nonsensical narrative, part talent show, “Got Dem Big City Dreams” is raw and unexpected, and it has a fucking shark so shut up.

The story follows the boys, Henry (Stone), Greg (Larsen) and Sam (Campbell) as they leave their home in the bush to pursue their dreams of fame/shark murder/cancer cures. Damien Power provides a myriad of characters including all 3 guys’ dads, a hipster/douchebag aquarium owner, and talent show host, Ricky Ray. The jokes are quick, usually completely unexpected, and often foul. There’s a lot of excellent physical comedy, and pretty funny use of AV, showcasing the guys’ video skills.

The show fell down a bit sometimes, feeling a little under-rehearsed and shaky. Plus there were a lot of long pauses between scenes (presumably so that Power could change his hat), which were frankly a bit awkward at times.  I enjoyed it though, it was great to see something out of the ordinary; this certainly isn’t your usual 50 minute stand up routine.

Stand out performances for me were from Sam Campbell and Damien Power, though one of my companions said the stand outs for her were Henry Stone and Damien Power. I guess the point here is that Greg Larsen was also good.

 Skills in Time play at 7:15 until Saturday, and 5:15 on Sunday. Tickets here.

Disclaimer – I should probably tell you that I work for Brisbane Powerhouse. All opinions are my own and not those of my employer.

Disclaimer number two - I have pretty much been waiting my whole life to write a disclaimer like that. 

Country/Girl: Roadtrippin

The thing about living in the country is that pretty much any drive further than Woolworths can be considered a roadtrip. Literally 4 minutes out of the centre of town you hit sorghum fields and windmills, cows that stare at you and potholes that could swallow you whole.

I’m still 2 weeks off actually living in Dalby, but I was there for the weekend visiting Boyfriend, and we went on a bit of a roadtrip for our friend Tom’s 21^st Birthday. That is to say, we went to go see Tom for his birthday, we didn’t just drive into the countryside in celebration of his birth or anything.

It wasn’t *that* far, but upon reflection, except for one big day of driving in New Zealand once, I think it’s the furthest I’ve ever driven in one day. I think I’d convinced myself it was going to be easy, given that I now regularly drive the 2 hours, 40 to Dalby. I thought, 4 hours to the coast? Pfft, easy! Well…. It wasn’t excruciatingly difficult, but my bum did go numb and by the time I got there I felt moderately incapable of speech.

Fun things about our roadtrip:

I discovered what a windmill is. No, that makes me sound like an idiot. I KNOW what a windmill is, I’d just never thought about the word wind… mill… it’s a mill… driven by wind. DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE I’M AN IDIOT. I bet a bunch of you had never thought of that either. I like words that do that to you. SHUT UP.

I didn’t kill any birds.

I did scream a lot whenever we came near a bird until Boyfriend freaked out and asked me to stop…. I still did it anyway.

I bought petrol in a tiny town called Cooyar. The pump didn’t have an electronic dial, just the kind with the numbers that flip down like an old clock. It was awesome.

Blackbutt. It doesn’t matter if you’re both adults and one of you is a teacher and everything, that shit is still funny.

The creepy little shop in Kilcoy makes REALLY good food.

Boyfriend’s students are literally everywhere. Even when we’re in some random town hours away from school. They. Are. There.

They are always watching.

No one knows how to pronounce the D’aguilar highway, but we have started calling it “The D’ag”.

Despite both being wordsmiths who love language, hours of driving will make us both stumble when trying to play word games.

Word games are still a good way to avoid napping while driving.

We should have been able to think of a lot more Australian towns starting with D.

Our own town SHOULD have been the first town we thought of.

This is the route we took:

We did it twice, obviously.

And this is the route I take to Dalby… I also did it twice.

So over 4 days I drove for about 13 hours. Effort! 

Lizzyish reviews: Brisbane Comedy Festival - Damien Power and Tripod

Disclaimer – I should probably tell you that I work for Brisbane Powerhouse. All opinions are my own and not those of my employer.

Disclaimer number two - I have pretty much been waiting my whole life to write a disclaimer like that.

I flippin love comedy, all the kinds of comedy, it’s like a drug to me. I also like writing. I also work at a place that hosts a comedy festival.

So, you know… I’m going to write some reviews.

Damien Power – Monkeys in Space – Rooftop Terrace

“And there’s the line!”

Pre-show Appreciation Status: Fan.

I was Damien’s tech last year, so it was really nice to see his show from the front instead of from a small box to the side. And it was a great show too. Funny and punchy right from the start. Damien has a great delivery style; lots of beautifully timed pauses and great throw-away lines that catch you unawares and make you guffaw like a crazy person.

Power (great name) doesn’t hold back and his jokes regularly stray into what some might call dangerous territory. Pedophilia, rape and gratuitous sexual innuendo feature heavily.  Being strongly of the opinion that comedy has no boundaries, I laughed heartily at this kind of material, and most of the audience was there with me for most of the show. There were a few moments where people seemed a bit unsure whether they were allowed to laugh or not. And one great moment (after a pedophilia bit) where the crowd sort of just hummed with uncertainty. Damien made a joke about having found the line and then jumped right back over it anyway. I love a comedian who sticks with their material and goes with it anyway. If they are confident enough about it, it usually works.

Damien is a local guy who is going to go far, he is definitely worth a look in if you can nab a seat. He sold out a smaller room last year and will likely sell out in a much bigger room this year. I look forward to struggling to get a seat to his 2013 show in the Turbine Studio or the Visy.

Damien plays at 8:30pm Friday and Saturday, and at 7pm on Sunday. Tickets here.

 

Tripod – Men of Substance – Powerhouse Theatre

“Dystopia, Datopia, all Datopias.”

Pre-show Appreciation Status: Big Fan.

Tripod’s new show, Men of Substance focuses on their successful 16 years together, and their now maturing tastes in music, women and technology. It was fantastic to see new material from them; their songs are still tight, very funny, and beautifully performed. Tonight was opening night, which may have explained the slightly strange energy at the start. I felt it took about 2 songs to ‘get into it’, but once they were off they were flying.

While the through line of the whole show, that they are now older, wiser and more mature was obviously a device to show off some of their new songs, I couldn’t help but notice how comfortable these guys are - on the stage, with each other, with the crowd. They really know what they’re doing, and their 16 year history with each other makes for a relaxed but well rehearsed show with hilariously candid moments thrown in.

I was laughing loud and long for the entire show. As always, I love musical comedians for doing what seems the impossible: making us laugh, in beautiful 3-part harmony, and still maintaining the joke on the third chorus.

Loved it.

Tripod play at 9pm Friday and Saturday, and at 2:30pm on Sunday. Tickets here.

Next Week: Skills in Time, and anything else I can get along to.

Lizzyish has Opinions: Why I Love Kevin Rudd

Let me begin by saying, I’m not a massive politics nerd, I’m not even 100% sure how our government system works. I mean I’m not completely uneducated on the topic, though that’s only due my own research. (Thanks school, for teaching me all the important stuff like algebra and poetry analysis, but not how voting works or how the government is run). I know enough to keep up with most political conversations I hear, and to enjoy them, and to make up my own mind about voting.

Importantly, I know that we don’t vote for a leader, we vote for a party.

Or rather, we vote for local members, who become government if they are in the majority (or even if they’re not) and through a series of events I don’t care to understand, involving the rather silly sounding word, ‘caucus’ choose a leader.

I know that the policies of the ALP haven’t really changed much between leaders, so, as a generally left leaning Labor voter, why do I kind of wish Kevin Rudd was still Prime Minister?

Because I like him, is the rather childish answer.

The Kevin07 campaign happened in the lead up to my first federal election. The first time I voted was for the Labor party, almost solely because of Kevin Rudd. My whole teen years had been dominated by John Howard, to the point where the name “Howard” was completely synonymous with the words “Prime Minister”. Sure, I remembered Keating, but the politics of my teens were refugees and the children overboard saga, GST and “unchain your heart”, Work Choices, and eyebrows. Kevin Rudd represented change, hope and a whole lot less facial hair.

PMKevin was well spoken and clever, he was easy to respect, in the way a dad is easy to respect. He was funny, again in a kind of lame dad way, but still. He went on Good News Week and Rove, he wasn’t afraid to say stupid shit about sauce bottles. He laughed off that time he picked his nose during Parliament. He went to that strip club that time. He got emotional on camera. His twitter stream was 50% informative, 50% about funny shit that happened to him in the course of being a Prime Minister. In short, he was likeable.

His ‘proud of the fact that’ speech, while repetitive to the point of embarrassment, was one of the best political speeches I’ve ever heard from an Australian pollie. Simply because it was honest, and gracious, and unlike anything you’d ever hear from any one else.

The day Kevin Rudd stopped being Prime Minister was simultaneously exciting and depressing for me. Exciting because of twitter, depressing because of Julia. Julia Gillard is so unlikeable, especially compared to Rudd. She’s cold, reserved and has an irritating voice. I bet if she picked her nose in parliament she would blame it on Tony Abbott.

I don’t have a lot to say about Rudd’s resignation as Foreign Minister today. I think it was inevitable, and about as graceful as possible in the circumstances. I do have this to say though: Hey Labor party members talking about disloyalty? What side were you on in June 2010 ha? And Wayne Swan? Kevin could fucking kick your ass in hand-to-hand combat. He would roll up those sleeves, take of those glasses and smash you into the fucking ground, you weedy bastard. Disloyalty, honestly, is that really the best word you can think of to discredit him?

I KNOW we’re meant to care about their politics, but if we’re being ruled by a party, and not by a leader, then why wouldn’t you want a funny, down-to-earth, sauce bottle shaking, twitter-savvy dad as that leader? That’s all I’m saying.

Valentine’s Advice from your smug partnered friend

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single girl in possession of a big tub of ice cream must be in want of a Valentine.

However little known the feelings or views of such a girl may be on her first entering a pub, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding women, that her happiness is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of her partnered friends.

Yes even if such a lady SAYS she’s happy being single; she secretly wants us coupled ladies to help her find love. On a daily basis. So, with this in mind, I have compiled a list of tips for this Valentine’s Day.

1.     Being in a relationship is the most important thing in the world. Don’t even TRY to find happiness in your work, hobbies, or interests – they are meaningless. Meaningless.

2.     Dating is really easy. Sure, *I* haven’t done it in years, but if you’re not good at it there is SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.

3.     Have sex with as many people as possible, it will make you feel good about yourself and is also a good way to lose weight. Nothing.

4.     Don’t have sex with every guy you meet, that’s just slutty.

5.     I don’t know; work out some sort of percentage. Maybe like 70%? What am I? A mathematician?

6.     You are free to date whoever you want, after they have been through a rigorous testing process coordinated by myself and your mother. We are definitely in cahoots.

7.     How did I end up in such a sickeningly perfect relationship? Oh, just luck I guess. You? You should not rely on luck. Really desperately and actively seek a relationship so that you can be happy like me.

8.     The key to a good relationship is open and honest communication. So it is important to make a note of all the lies you tell him now, so you can keep track of them.

9.     The aforementioned lies should just be little things. Like your age, your income, your hopes, dreams, desires and most important of all, your interests. It is important to pretend to like all the stuff guys like so they don’t get bored when talking to you.

10. I mention my boyfriend up to 38 times an hour in an attempt to encourage you to get one too.

11. Wear lots of make up all the time. No! You’re beautiful! I’m just saying guys are really into stuff like hair and make up, they really notice when you make an effort in the morning. Seriously.

12. You just have to be patient. Mister Right is out there for you too, and other clichés.

13. There is nothing wrong with being alone on Valentine’s Day, really. You know what you should do? You should organise a big girls’ night out! Just us girls!

14. Oh no, The Boy won’t mind, we have plans during the day. Oh I won’t bore you with the details but let’s just say it involves champagne and ponies and a hot air balloon and cheese you’ve never heard of and also gourmet figs and a puppy. At the same time.

15. Yeah! Let’s get really drunk! Who needs men right?! *smug smile*

16. Tequila!

17. Dancing! Let’s dance sexily… together haha just kidding.

18. You should kiss that guy! No really.

19. Just kiss him Sarah.

20. Go over there and do as you are fucking told.

21. Because I said so.

22. Haha see that was fun wasn’t it?!

23. Let’s sing female power ballads!

24.  I’m a survivor I’m gonna make it I will survive keep on surviving!

25. Do you wanna make out with me? Jokes!

26. What do you MEAN you want to leave?! Party party! Wear a pink plastic hat, Sarah it will make you feel better.

27. Put on the hat Sarah.

28. Tequilaaaaa!

29. No, seriously. No shh, shhh just listen. I envy you. I really do. You’re so free. Sometimes I wish I was single.

30. Can someone call my boyfriend and get him to pick me up? I just spewed in my shoes.