Astute readers will note that I took a
break last Sunday. It was my birthday (almost) and I was off having adventures.
If you don’t follow me on Facebook you’re missing out on really important
information like this, and also amusing screen shots of the things people have
googled to find Hum Drum Plum so I honestly don’t know what you’re thinking of
on that front.
This week I want to blog about serious
things. But I’m not gonna. My brain is filled with a hundred opinions about
asylum seekers and politics, atheism and education, feminism and media… but
those opinions are starting to take their toll. I feel exhausted sometimes by
the weight of my own thoughts and occasionally you’ve just got to have a bit of
fun, sometimes you have to turn off your brain (and step away from the
computer) and let the shit of the world pass you by for a few hours.
So here’s a list of things that will make
you feel better about any given topic.
1.
Step 1. Cut up a banana, step
2. Stab a banana piece with a fork, step 3. Dip piece into nutella jar, step 4.
Omnomnom, step 5. Nirvana.
2.
Play board games (not Monopoly)
with trusted loved ones. If anyone starts getting aggressively competitive,
make them sit on a tiny chair in the corner until they’ve calmed down.
 |
| This is an actual photo of me actually playing board games with my actual siblings. It was a lot more exciting than we are making it look. |
3.
Watch The Emperor’s New Groove.
4.
Use safe mode on youtube, it
hides all the comments.
5.
Buy a packet of pink Hubba
Bubba. Chew each piece until it *just* loses its flavour. Spit it out. Repeat.
This, for me, is a personal vendetta against adults from my childhood, who made
me get my money’s worth on every last piece of quickly-flavourless bubblegum.
6.
Use the hashtag “cleaneating”
on your instagram photos of cheese, chocolate and hot chips.
7.
Make tea in a teapot. You’re
fucking worth it.
8.
Hide all the people on your
facebook feed who are wrong all the time.
9. Go for a long drive in the countryside. Perhaps you have a friend
who lives three hours away and would gladly welcome you for a weekend in a
small town first founded in the 1840s and known for its rich grain and cotton
industries…
10. Make a playlist of your favourite up-tempo songs. This is not a
workout playlist. No, it is not a housework playlist. These are not the songs
you’ll listen to on the way to work. This is your dance mix. You will dance to
this list when you’re home alone. You will crank it loud, you will sing along,
you will jump up and touch the ceiling, and spin around in your socks. No one
is watching, and if they were, they’d want to join in.
11. Buy someone a gift for no reason at all.
12. Buy yourself a gift for any reason you can think of.
13. If you’re the kind of person who is into this sort of thing, do your
hair and makeup real special on a day you will see no other living soul. Be
glamorous for the only person whose opinion matters… you.
14. Put clean sheets on your bed and go to bed early with a book. This
is one of the best cures for grumpiness in the whole world. Don’t knock it til
you’ve tried it.
15. Make something. Build it out
of lego, or playdough or sand. Bake a cake if you want, or write something
down. There is a whole world of tiny achievements you can create yourself.
Today I picked some snow peas I grew myself and I feel like the Queen of the
world.
16. Let people be wrong on the internet. They’ll always be wrong, don’t
let them make you mad too.
17. When the banana is all gone, keep eating the nutella with the fork.
You’re a grown human, do what you want man.
18. Write a list of things you’ve rarely or never done. And
then take your own advice.
19. Tell someone you love them.
