Lizzy King, Human - A Study. Box 3 Part 1

By 2003, I was a veritable memento keeping champion. I'd been doing it for 4 years by this point, and boy did I hoard EVERYTHING, it's going to take a few posts to get through this one. But of course, 2003 was a big year for me. I had a boyfriend, and then I didn't, I got a brand new sister and 2003 was also...

~The Year I Went to Ironbark~

This artwork is way too good to be mine. No idea who's it is...

Ironbark kinda dominates this box, so it’s worth explaining. My school sends its students to live on a farm for 5 weeks and learn about ropes and camping and cooking and animals and god. I did this in Grade 10, it was an amazing time. I learnt about all those things, and have since forgotten all of them, especially god.

Item – Ironbark Handbook – 2003

A heavily scribbled on book that details all the things we were meant to learn while on the camp. It’s a workbook, so it’s filled with my answers. We had to keep a rain chart and learn about knots, there’s info on the flora and fauna of the area (near Crow’s Nest, QLD) and how to treat farm animals. There’s a lot on farm etiquette (closing gates, crossing ploughed fields correctly etc) and pages and pages of Christian Songs. The amazingly tacky ones. Ones like “Lord of the Dance”, “The Blind Man” and “Every Day”!

*clap clap*

Item – Ironbark Journal – 2003

We had to keep a daily journal and I (surprisingly) actually managed this. I just read the whole thing and it’s really interesting. It’s a much, much more honest record than the ones I’d kept up until this point. I laughed out loud in parts too. Best story has to be:

“Claudia’s bed is near a window in the carriage and Kellie and I were on her bed shining torches at the guys. They were shining them back and then Connor, Frenchie and Loos mooned us! Ahhhhh! Then they were pretending to be having an orgy and Mr Morris came! It was hil-ar-i-ous!!”

I mean. It’s a funny enough story on it’s own. But then the hilarious semantic error of using the word “came” in that sentence. I think it must have been completely innocent, and what I meant was “Mr Morris walked past and caught them!” but that is NOT WHAT THAT SAYS RIGHT THERE.

Letter – from Charlie – 2003

I didn’t really get homesick at Ironbark. But I did get sibling sick. My baby sister, Sally was just 11 days old when I left for camp. Patrick was 3 and Charlie, 6. I missed them in an aching sort of way. Charlie wrote me some of the best damn letters, and drew me amazing pictures, all of which I put up on my wall above my bunk. This letter is too beautiful not to share:

Zero scales were given that day

Item – Movie Stub – 2003

I saw Seabiscuit apparently.

Photo – Of Morgan in amazing frame – 2003

I texted him to ask if I could use this, he said, "who am I to censor?"

This is Morgan, my first real boyfriend. We got together in 2002 and dated for 6 months. Look at his adorable face. This man has a wife and a baby now. A wife. And a baby. And also, some really awesome photos, if you like men with wives, babies and photos, he is your man. 

Word Processed Letter – from Caitlin – 2003

Caitlin always had my back. That’s the biggest thing I remember about my friendship with Caitlin. We ended up living together for a time a few years back, and at school, we were very close. She came on a bunch of my family holidays. If I ever told a lie to cover my tracks or my own embarresment, Caitlin would always go along with it, straight away, without question and then never mention it again. She was the best. In this letter she apologises for not hanging out with me much at the school fete (there were reasons), wonders why another girl doesn’t like us anymore and includes a photo of Tahiti to cheer me up. Legend.

Item – Disintegrated remains of The Hobbit – c1970s-2003 RIP

I think this copy was my dad’s originally, but I read it to death, literally.

Item – Poster of shirtless David Beckham – 2003

I don’t remember ever being interested in this gentleman’s football career, so I suspect TeenLizzy’s interest in him lay elsewhere.

I hear he was good at some kind of sport

Another Letter - from Charlie – 2003           

God he was so adorable! What ever happened?!

Photo – of me and tiny Sally – 2003

Why, it must be the first photo of me and Sally, ever! Look at her tufty hair! Her squidgy face! My smug smile that says “yes. This small creature is mine. She is perfect. You may not have her.”

squidge!

Item – paintings by James and Annabel – 2003

My cousins did some damn good art for me in 2003.

Item – Tiny Diary – 2003

First entry mentions Morgan touching my boobs AND the news that Mum is pregnant (with Sally). Second entry (a month later) details my desire to remain a virgin until marriage, bush fires, the loss of a much beloved lip gloss and the fact that mum was hospitalised because she was dehydrated (and you know… pregnant). Such a busy and exciting life I led.

Lizzy King, Human - A Study. Box 2.

In 2002, I started yet another box for keeping things in. I was 14, I liked a boy named Chris, possibly a girl named Sally and dated a boy named Morgan. I was secretly embracing my nerdiness – I was in the choir and obsessed with Lord of the Rings, but was also pretty keen to be cool and fashionable. This is a study of my life in the year 2002.

Item – Red Pencil Case with writing – 2002

My grade 9 pencil case has writing on it from my friends at the time. In particular prominence is a quote from the Emperor’s New Groove – the best film of all time. This and some other things were written by my friend Chris. I believe I “archived” the case in the box after I fell in like with him, acted like a crazy person and then stopped being friends with him.

It says, "For the last time, we did not order a giant trampoline"

Items – World Vision Cards – 2002

A picture of two children cleaning grasshoppers to eat. And another of a little girl with the caption “They Laugh at Her”.

Item – Broken photo frame shaped like a cow – 2002

Hot damn I loved cows.

Items – Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Collector Cards – 2002

Nerdtastic! I’ve got two of the “Orcs” card if anyone wants to trade? I’m missing Merry and Gandalf.

A diversion!

Item – Dead Stick – 2002

This is awesome. I had forgotten about this. At high school, this amazing teacher had this amazing idea for fundraising. Instead of spending money on sausages or chocolates to sell for charity, he and his class held “Dead Stick Day”. They painted up a bunch of sticks, somehow implied they were cool and got us all to fork out cash for sticks which was then given to charity. There were a good few weeks where everyone was adorned in twigs.

Hey look! Lord of the Rings poster in the background. Times, they have not changed.

Item – Poster for Choir performance – 2002

Chorale. A massive part of my formative years. 2002 was the first year I was in the Chorale and I nearly quit. It was a very good thing I didn’t. According to the poster we sung works by Handel, Faure and Gershwin, to name a few.

Item – 40 Hour Famine Certificate of Appreciation – 2002

Thanking me for raising the hefty sum of $55.65 in the 2001 40 hour famine.

Items – Payslips – 2002

My first job was a paper route. I earnt $20 a week.

Item – Scribbled Note – 2002

Holy shit. I remember this. I used to have these religious moments, where I would shut my eyes and write down stuff that god was telling me to write. This is almost impossible to read because I have written over stuff way too many times but there’s a lot of stuff about a shepherd trying to save a little lamb caught in the branches, but the little lamb doesn’t want to come. That shit is POETIC.

Letter – from Becki – 2002

Becki is at Ironbark, a thing I will write a lot about soon I should think. It’s a camp that everyone at school has to go on, a 5 week adventure on a farm that is, for the most part, the best thing ever. Most of us went in grade 10, so I suspect there’s a lot of stuff in the next box, but Bec went in grade 9. Her letter tells of looking for a mother dog who was giving birth to puppies in the bush, morning runs, and the training hike coming up.

Item – Student Card – 2002

Baby!!

Item – Diary – 2001-2

This diary is really interesting. Well actually, it’s quite boring – we did this, then we did that etc. But there’s a few things it has made me think about:

1.     I’d forgotten how much I freaking loved kids. I mean I am still quite fond of the little humans, but at this stage of my life I had a 5-year-old and a 2-year-old brother and my whole life was dominated (particularly on the holidays) by kids and kids events, parties, kindy stuff etc. And I freaking LOVED it.

2.     The diary really hardly ever discusses my feelings. It is an account of things that happened, with occasional “this was annoying” or “mum was mad at me” moments, but no real secrets or emotions. For example, “went to Anthea’s house 4 a BBQ. Stayed the night & Sally did 2” – this says absolutely NOTHING about the fact that Sally (who was Anthea’s friend from high school) was this beautifully stunning girl, who I was infatuated with. Like… I actually spent years wondering if I was gay because of the 2 or 3 times I hung out with Sally.

3.     I was so easily swayed by others. The first bit of the diary is from holidays, I am spending time predominantly with my family and the writing is civil, well-spelled and generally benign. As it goes on, and I’ve been in grade 9 for a while, I write like an idiot – all 2s and 4s instead of actual words. I actually say “NEthing” instead of “anything” and I’m obsessed with getting a boyfriend.

Item – Movie ticket stub – 2002

Good News! I got a boyfriend. The back of the stub says “ First date with Morgan! (21/10/02)” This is the only evidence of him in this box, but I have faith he will feature predominantly in the next one. We saw The Bourne Identity and I distinctly remember that actually we saw almost nothing of The Bourne Identity and a whole lot of each other’s faces. Kissy kissy.

And that’s it. That’s the whole of the 2002 box. Next week, 2003! Grade 10! Ironbark, my first proper relationship, and my first proper break up. Who knows what wonders we have in store for us as we continue “Lizzy King, Human – A Study.

Lizzy King, Human - A Study. Box 1 Part 3

Box 1 - 1999, 2000, 2001 - Part 3

When I was 11 years old I started a box. A box to put my letters in, a box for ticket stubs and photos, diaries and broken things worth keeping. It was 1999. This is an exploration of the first of many boxes I have kept every year since, a study of my life. The first part can be found here and the second, here.

Letter – from Anthea – 15^th January 2000

In this pretty heart breaking letter my friend Anthea tells me about how fucked up her life is. That’s verbatim. Things are pretty shit with her family at this stage, and according to the letter her brother continues to cause pain for her. In the letter she hopes that our friendship never becomes as fucked up as her life. Which is interesting, because while we have both changed a lot and don’t know each other that well anymore, we are still friends. I went to her wedding a few years ago and we interact on facebook and such. I suspect that her life is not fucked up at all anymore, and our friendship is benign (and certainly not fucked up). At some point, past Lizzy wrote on the letter, cynically stating that Anthea has never before said that she loved me, or didn’t want our friendship to be shit. We were twelve.

Photo – Mark Eating Cake – 2000

On the back it says “I had a real bad haircut”

This is a great photo and I’d share it if it weren’t of someone else I don’t know anymore. He is shoving that cake in like it’s going out of style. The haircut seems fine to me.

Item – Homework Diary – 2000

A diary I used in grade 7. Mostly filled with homework reminders, but occasional comments from friends include “she’s not a cow! Cow’s are pretty and she isn’t! She’s a bitch!” and “The winner is Sydney!”

Yeah, I have no idea, either.

Item – A poem from Tahnee – 2000

A poem by my friend Tahnee dedicated to me.

This box is full of love, and I spent grade 7 thinking everyone hated me.

Letter – From Mark – 2001

Holidays sucked, his school uniform is gay, but Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon was pretty sweet.

Letter – from Megan – 2001

My friend Megan writes to say that a girl we were friends with doesn’t want to be her friend anymore. This is likely the start of a really awful time in my life. A time where I became a bully, specifically against this girl who doesn’t like Megan anymore. I am not proud of this time and there is no evidence of it in the box, suggesting I wasn’t particularly proud of it then, either.

Item – Set of Lord of the Rings Collector’s Cards – 2001

Hot Damn I was obsessed with the LOTR movie. I almost have a complete set here.

Item – Ripped Out Diary entry – 2000

Apparently I liked three boys at once. The entry explains my dilemma but ultimately lands upon Mark as the one I like the most.

Item – Ripped Out Diary entry – 2000

A journal entry detailing the time Mark asked me out and the subsequent school disco where we danced. I didn’t like him much till we danced, but after that it was like being “in a whole new world”. 

It was exactly like this.

Item – Drawing by Megan – 2001

We must have been studying Picasso in Art, because nothing else could explain the creepy eye amongst the coloured shapes here.

Note – to Self – 2000 (?)

“Life’s a BITCH (and I am too!)

Note – to Self – 2000 (?)

“This sux really badly”

“I heart Mark”

Hopefully these two ideas are not linked.

Note – From Christie - 2000

Someone is being a “sinjin fag” and not giving her a yes or no on something. I have no idea what “sinjin” is and I suspect at the time I had no idea what a “fag” was either.

Note – To Christie (spelt Krizti for no discernable reason) – 2000

A response to the above note, but mostly a heavily expletive laden missive about the weather.

Letter – from Mark – 2000

A letter given to me probably towards the very end of primary school with his address, asking for mine and a promise to ask me to the movies on the holidays. He implores me to write regularly.

Item – Grade 8 Student ID – 2001

I look about 7 years old. And very keen for school.

Letter – from Anthea – 2000

Anthea is staying with her extended family. Her brother annoys her and she hasn’t felt more like killing her sister in “about 20 years”. It’s a really sweet letter apart from that. Anthea and I were very good friends.

Item – Mark’s phone number on a scrap of paper – 2000

On the back it says, “written by Wayne” – wingman hero.

Item – Red Paper that says “I heart Harley” – 1999

I really did heart that guy. I pretended to be into pokemon for him and everything.

Item – Soap – 2000 (?)

Why did I keep a bar of soap in here? This explains why everything smells of soap I guess.

Note – to Self – 1999

Another note too good not to share.

I heart Harley, Matt & Alistair (in that order) (Reminder for tomorrow tell Anthea & Manda about H) Told Tahnee she does too! (H)

This explains why Tahnee was going to be mad at me.

Item – Movie Ticket Stub – 2001

Meet the Parents can’t have been that good. Oh wait yep on the back I’ve written “first date with Mark!”

Note book – Conversation between 3 teenage girls – 2001

We each choose a colour and write back and forth to each other. My colour is red. I “invent” the notion that writing in caps = shouting (take that internet forums) and am largely concerned that I am being left out of the conversation. We are quite enamoured with the words “cocksucker” “fuck” “asshole” and “sex”. One of the other girls compares our female science teacher to Elton John, which in retrospect, is quite unfair. She was rubbish at the piano.

Item – Green Paper that says “I heart M.T.” – 1999

This is with regards to Matt. Who I later decide “sucks” compared to Harley. I still remember to this day the poem I put in his tidy tray. It’s not in the box (I’m sure he’s kept it and treasured it) but it went like this:

Look    See      That    Me       And     Not      My      

Up       Will     I           Love    If         Me       Love    Forgot

And     You     Love    You     I           Love    For      Be

Down  And     You     If         Find    You     You     Will

…and it was.

Book – Friends and Bitches – 2000

The cover of the book actually says “forever” on it, but I clearly used this as a burn book ala Mean Girls even though Mean Girls didn’t exist yet. No, it’s not that bad. There’s a page per friend where I talk about how nice they are to me, or how mean I’ve been to them and then a page on some bitches I don’t like much. I have an impressive vocabulary.

Item – a very crushed up and gross cockroach – 200?

The box is filled with cockroach bits. Perhaps I should remove those. Naaaah.

Next week we move on to a new box! 2002 – I was 14 in 2002. This can only be good.

Lizzy King, Human - A Study. Box 1 Part 2

But first! News flash:

Box 1 - 1999, 2000, 2001 – Part 2

When I was 11 years old I started a box. A box to put my letters in, a box for ticket stubs and photos, diaries and broken things worth keeping. It was 1999. This is an exploration of the first of many boxes I have kept every year since, a study of my life. The first part can be found here.

Item – Five Year Diary – 2001

Each date page has a section for five different years worth of reflection. I failed in this endeavour spectacularly. Only dates in the first year are filled in, and then only between January 1^st and January 25^th and then September 10^th – October 15^th. This is incredibly spooky because I started writing again just days before planes hit the World Trade Centre. Here are some excerpts from my thoughts on this:

September 12^th – Holy Shit, today was so freaky. On the news, terrorists flew a plane into the pentagon and 2 into the Trade Center. Thousands of people were killed. It’s horrific, nothing else has been on the news. They say its like another Pearl Harbour – only worse. It was actually last night.

They showed some people _______ * dancing and laughing because of it. Palestinians I think.

* There is something scribbled out here. I think it says “Philistines” which is a word my grandma used a lot to describe bad people who did bad things to Jesus etc. This is the first time in my life that I have heard the word Muslim. I do not know what the Middle East is, really. I remember scribbling the word out later, embarrassed, having learnt a few more things about the world. I wrote the Palestinian bit in later in a different pen.

September 13^th – They haven’t found any survivors yet, I doubt they will because they (sic) 2 buildings just collapsed & people on the street had to run for their lives. There was a 4^th plane, it was headed for the Whitehouse but the people on board overpowered the terrorists and drove it into the ground – deliberately!

September 14^th – TOTAL MIRACLE! – they pulled out 5 firefighters from the rubble of the World Trade Centre today. 2 of them just walked away – after 48 hours! They say that means there could be more survivors.

September 15^th – Had a netball game and lost 5-64, which is no surprise because we’ve lost every other time!

September 16^th – We went to church this morning. Mum and I lit candles & prayed for Grampa (sic) Barry, Tim, and all the people in America & their families. Then we all went to Tom ______’s 1^st birthday and then Marcella’s 1^st birthday. I feel so full!

September 17^th – We went to the rainforest today & we’ve just about finished building our house. Making totem poles in art – that’s pretty cool. My desk was covered in glue and stuff. America has declared war on the terrorists. They’re pretty sure that the leader is Asama (sic) Bin Laden.

September 18^th – Had a maths exam today – reckon I did O.K. I’ve lost my jumper! Mum’ll kill me if I don’t find it. On the news they showed the 8 year old son of one of the pilot’s from the planes at his dad’s funeral. It was so sad! He was nearly hysterical.

There’s nothing much more about September 11. I never find the jumper. School holidays start and I am pretty much wrapped up in the sweet life of a 13 year old. And then this:

October 8^th – N. America bombed Afghanistan early this morning (3am). Bin Laden says Americans shouldn’t feel safe until Palistines (sic) feel safe! America is so stupid! It’s got nothing 2 do with Afghanistan! Bin Laden lives in Afghanistan but he’s fighting 4 Palestine. STW – Stop the War.

Well, wow, I just want to stop here and examine this reflection. It is incredibly strange that I started writing just a few days before this happened, and I have to wonder if 13 year old Lizzy engineered this. Did I start writing on the 12^th (which is actually when it happened in Australia) and decide to write in those extra few days to make it seem more natural? I don’t remember, but that is the sort of thing I might have done.

Maybe it is only with the benefit of hindsight, or because I am in fact now studying these items, but some things feel like I am writing them to be read. Remember that by September 11^th, 2001 I had been keeping the boxes for almost 3 years. That’s a long time for a child to do anything. Why was I keeping them? Did I know that one day I would read this? That someone else might? Did I, in fact, envision this blog?

No, obviously I didn’t, that is ludicrous, but I can’t help but feel that some things in this box, particularly the diary entries have a feeling of forced reflection. Interactions with friends that I kept seem much more natural than this, and I can only wonder now at how much is real and how much is my own attempt to romanticise my own life.

Heavy, I know, let’s see if there’s something more light hearted to finish off…

Item – Many Pages of Song Lyrics – 1999 and 2000

I was in a performing school called “Fame!” for a while. These must be all the songs we sung. They include Calendar Girl, I Still Call Australia Home, Christmas Where the Gum Trees Grow, S Club 7’s seminal Bring it all Back Now, and the classic, Hip to be Square. Such a delightful mix. I note also that we sung Summer Nights from “Grease” completely unedited for children. So a bunch of 12 year olds sung about how “she got friendly/down in the sand” and “she was good/you know what I mean”. Also the girls’ line which I have cheerfully labelled “Me” includes “tell me more, tell me more, how much dough did he spend?” – ah, childhood… so innocent!

Letter – from Mark – late 2000 or early 2001

A letter from my boyfriend explaining that he liked his letter from me, that he got a scooter for Christmas and that he was grounded, so he wouldn’t be able to call me. Even reading it now, 12 years later, I re-experienced the relief those last few words gave me then. I don’t know why, but this lovely boy terrified me.

Here’s the story. In grade 7 I “dated” a boy named Mark. He was funny and sweet, and as far as I can remember, really liked me. I say “dated” in those obnoxious inverted commas because we never kissed, I’m not sure if we even held hands, and we went to the movies once with some other people. But we did like each other, and we hung out. And my friend Tahnee dated his friend Wayne and the four of us hung out a lot at lunch and at tennis, which I only did because they liked it. In the holidays after school finished Mark and I wrote letters to each other, and when I went to highschool I was able to sound cool by telling people I already had a boyfriend. I don’t think we saw each other again.

I broke up with him via letter some time later.

Item – A4 page with “Mark” written on it – 2000

Mark is written lovingly in texta and bordered with what look a lot like tear drops (foreshadowing!), but were probably meant to be raindrops.

Sorry buddy

Item – Ugly Ceramic Blue Seal – 1999/ 2000

Damn this thing is ugly. I see why I put it in a box and not on a shelf.