But first! News flash:
Box 1 - 1999, 2000, 2001 – Part 2
When I was 11 years old I started a box. A
box to put my letters in, a box for ticket stubs and photos, diaries and broken
things worth keeping. It was 1999. This is an exploration of the first of many
boxes I have kept every year since, a study of my life. The first part can be
found here.
Item – Five Year Diary – 2001
Each date page has a section for five
different years worth of reflection. I failed in this endeavour spectacularly.
Only dates in the first year are filled in, and then only between January 1st
and January 25th and then September 10th – October 15th.
This is incredibly spooky because I started writing again just days before
planes hit the World Trade Centre. Here are some excerpts from my thoughts on
this:
September
12th – Holy Shit, today was so freaky. On the news, terrorists flew
a plane into the pentagon and 2 into the Trade Center. Thousands of people were
killed. It’s horrific, nothing else has been on the news. They say its like
another Pearl Harbour – only worse. It was actually last night.
They
showed some people _______ * dancing and laughing because of it. Palestinians I
think.
* There is something scribbled out here. I
think it says “Philistines” which is a word my grandma used a lot to describe
bad people who did bad things to Jesus etc. This is the first time in my life
that I have heard the word Muslim. I do not know what the Middle East is,
really. I remember scribbling the word out later, embarrassed, having learnt a
few more things about the world. I wrote the Palestinian bit in later in a
different pen.
September
13th – They haven’t found any survivors yet, I doubt they will
because they (sic) 2 buildings just collapsed & people on the street had to
run for their lives. There was a 4th plane, it was headed for the
Whitehouse but the people on board overpowered the terrorists and drove it into
the ground – deliberately!
September
14th – TOTAL MIRACLE! – they pulled out 5 firefighters from
the rubble of the World Trade Centre today. 2 of them just walked away –
after 48 hours! They say that means there could be more survivors.
September
15th – Had a netball game and lost 5-64, which is no surprise
because we’ve lost every other time!
September
16th – We went to church this morning. Mum and I lit candles &
prayed for Grampa (sic) Barry, Tim, and all the people in America & their
families. Then we all went to Tom ______’s 1st birthday and then
Marcella’s 1st birthday. I feel so full!
September
17th – We went to the rainforest today & we’ve just about
finished building our house. Making totem poles in art – that’s pretty cool. My
desk was covered in glue and stuff. America has declared war on the terrorists.
They’re pretty sure that the leader is Asama (sic) Bin Laden.
September
18th – Had a maths exam today – reckon I did O.K. I’ve lost my
jumper! Mum’ll kill me if I don’t find it. On the news they showed the 8 year
old son of one of the pilot’s from the planes at his dad’s funeral. It was so
sad! He was nearly hysterical.
There’s nothing much more about September
11. I never find the jumper. School holidays start and I am pretty much wrapped
up in the sweet life of a 13 year old. And then this:
October
8th – N. America bombed Afghanistan early this morning (3am). Bin
Laden says Americans shouldn’t feel safe until Palistines (sic) feel safe!
America is so stupid! It’s got nothing 2 do with Afghanistan! Bin Laden lives
in Afghanistan but he’s fighting 4 Palestine. STW – Stop the War.
Well, wow, I just want to stop here and
examine this reflection. It is incredibly strange that I started writing just a
few days before this happened, and I have to wonder if 13 year old Lizzy
engineered this. Did I start writing on the 12th (which is actually
when it happened in Australia) and decide to write in those extra few days to
make it seem more natural? I don’t remember, but that is the sort of thing I
might have done.
Maybe it is only with the benefit of hindsight,
or because I am in fact now studying these items, but some things feel like I
am writing them to be read. Remember that by September 11th, 2001 I
had been keeping the boxes for almost 3 years. That’s a long time for a child
to do anything. Why was I keeping them? Did I know that one day I would read
this? That someone else might? Did I, in fact, envision this blog?
No, obviously I didn’t, that is ludicrous,
but I can’t help but feel that some things in this box, particularly the diary
entries have a feeling of forced reflection. Interactions with friends that I
kept seem much more natural than this, and I can only wonder now at how much is
real and how much is my own attempt to romanticise my own life.
Heavy, I know, let’s see if there’s
something more light hearted to finish off…
Item – Many Pages of Song Lyrics – 1999 and
2000
I was in a performing school called “Fame!”
for a while. These must be all the songs we sung. They include Calendar Girl, I Still Call Australia Home,
Christmas Where the Gum Trees Grow, S Club 7’s seminal Bring it all Back Now, and the classic, Hip to be Square. Such a delightful mix. I note also that we sung Summer Nights from “Grease” completely
unedited for children. So a bunch of 12 year olds sung about how “she got
friendly/down in the sand” and “she was good/you know what I mean”. Also the
girls’ line which I have cheerfully labelled “Me” includes “tell me more, tell
me more, how much dough did he spend?” – ah, childhood… so innocent!
Letter – from Mark – late 2000 or early
2001
A letter from my boyfriend explaining that
he liked his letter from me, that he got a scooter for Christmas and that he
was grounded, so he wouldn’t be able to call me. Even reading it now, 12 years
later, I re-experienced the relief those last few words gave me then. I don’t
know why, but this lovely boy terrified me.
Here’s the story. In grade 7 I “dated” a
boy named Mark. He was funny and sweet, and as far as I can remember, really
liked me. I say “dated” in those obnoxious inverted commas because we never
kissed, I’m not sure if we even held hands, and we went to the movies once with
some other people. But we did like each other, and we hung out. And my friend
Tahnee dated his friend Wayne and the four of us hung out a lot at lunch and at
tennis, which I only did because they liked it. In the holidays after school
finished Mark and I wrote letters to each other, and when I went to highschool
I was able to sound cool by telling people I already had a boyfriend. I don’t
think we saw each other again.
I broke up with him via letter some time
later.
Item – A4 page with “Mark” written on it –
2000
Mark is written lovingly in texta and
bordered with what look a lot like tear drops (foreshadowing!), but were probably
meant to be raindrops.
 |
| Sorry buddy |
Item – Ugly Ceramic Blue Seal – 1999/ 2000
Damn this thing is ugly. I see why I put it
in a box and not on a shelf.
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