Lizzy King, Human - A Study. Tour!

Europe Tour

Life Advice

I think by now it has been pretty well documented that I like to hoard. So it should come as no surprise to you that I have kept one box for each of the two overseas trips I have undertaken in my life. So these are extra boxes, boxes in excess of the annual boxes. Today’s blog comes to you care of a box marked “Tour. Dec 2004 – Jan 2005”. It contains travel documents and tourist brochures, mementos and weird shit I picked up along the way.

I was very privileged to be a member of the St Peters Chorale. Much more than a school choir, the chorale has recorded and performed music all over the world, and in late 2004 it was our turn. I got a casual job more than a year beforehand and saved up the majority of the cost of the trip, something I was and am very proud of. We spent 4 weeks travelling through England, the Czech Republic, Poland, Hungary, Austria and Switzerland. We performed to 10 people in some places, 100s in others and notably, to about 1500 in Poland where we were also broadcast on TV. It was an amazing trip, and this box provides a small glimpse into what 16-year-old Lizzy thought about it all. (Actually this is a really weird snapshot and doesn't even really begin to cover half of what we did, a fraction of what I felt or a smidgeon of how important this trip was but anyway, it's good).

Items – Fanta bottles – 2005

It’s always exciting, I think, when you go to a new place and things are the same but different. Here we have a mango flavoured Fanta with not-so-mango colours and a “Vadmalna” flavoured Fanta. I’ve googled it but I can’t find a translation that tells me what flavour that is. I’d love to assume “grape” going by the colours, but with the mango colours as an example, we may never know. The best/grossest part? They still kinda smell like Fanta.

Item – City Info Guide to Wien – 2005

We know Wien as Vienna. There’s a lot of great stuff to see and do in Vienna, and I have a distinct memory of the snow being kind of like little perfectly round balls, like tiny beanbag beans. Please note the sticker advertising the Toilet of Modern Art - that was a cool place. And the art was good too.

Item – Brochure and Ticket to the Salt Mine – 2005

Oh my god, if you EVER go to Europe, promise me you’ll go to the Wieliczka Salt Mine in Poland. It’s a bit scary if like me you are claustrophobic, but ultimately the awe and wonderment you feel vastly outweighs any fear. It’s a giant, underground museum, and the walls are made of salt. The tour guides carry lemons with them in case anyone brings their own tequila, true fact. There’s a massive cathedral carved out of the salt down there, and the salt has been so beautifully polished, it looks like marble. Just fucking go, alright?

Item – Terrifying Kinder child – 2005

The Aryan ideals live on in this child.

If "Kinder" means child, is Kinder Chocolate made from Children?

Item – Post-it Notes from my Mum – 2004

She left these in my luggage everywhere. She’s the best.

She even wrote a love note in the waistband of my jeans

Letters – from my ex-boyfriend – 2005

Ah, I won’t go into too much detail here because I haven’t gotten permission from all parties involved but basically, I was in one relationship when I left for Europe and another when I returned. It was one of those unfortunate situations where I didn’t really want to be in relationship 1 when we left, but I couldn’t very well break up with him at Christmas time and right before we went away together, and I didn’t think that relationship 2 would ever happen. And then relationship 2 looked quite feasible and relationship 1 was really quite unhappy, so I just casually thought it would be a good idea to pull a switcheroo while we were as far from home as it was possible to be, surrounded by other teenagers and on strict behavioural instructions. It’s got to be right up there with one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done*. The letters range from being exceedingly angry to fairly forgiving, epitomising, I think, how strange it was to play out big emotional changes while in a sort of suspended reality – a reality where we could be arguing in the snow, then singing in a concert 20 minutes later and laughing on the bus an hour after that.

* Though in saying that, relationship 2 went quite well for quite a long time afterwards and the boy from relationship 1 did some pretty fucked up shit later on so… I don’t know what I’m trying to say here, I should stop trying to find absolution for shit 16-year-old Lizzy did.

Item – Fudge Kitchen Wrapper – 2004

Yes! Jim’s fudge kitchen! This was a place in England that made some of the best damn fudge I have ever tasted. And they made it all right there in the shop. 

A bunch of people from the tour asked to see Jim (presumably to thank him for his delicious fudge) and the guy behind the counter said, “ah… Jim’s kinda like Yoda” ... “in that he doesn’t exist”.

Item – Crystal Worlds Brochure – 2005

Is this not the most terrifying face you’ve ever seen? Even more terrifying than Kinder child? I saw this face in real life. Nothing can really prepare you for how weird the Swarovski Crystal World is.

And extensive counselling can't make you forget

Item – Arty sugar packets containing what is now almost 8 year old sugar – 2005

Gross.

Totes put them back in the box

Lizzy King, Human - A Study. Box 3 Part 2

Item – Really Bad Poetry – 2003

I think it’s meant to be funny but the title of this poem is “Don’t Judge us You Stupid Hypocritical Stereotypists” and to be honest just writing that out makes me want to jump through time and strangle Teen Lizzy until it is no longer possible for me to have done so due to a paradox.

Item – Bag of Letters sent to me while at Ironbark – 2003

Hot damn there is a tonne of letters here. I honestly am not going to read them right now. I mean just look at that. How did I get so many letters in 5 weeks? I especially enjoy that the handful of the ones I did read from my mum all make jokes about my lack of response. There are lots here from family, but most are from friends. I think there’re so many because mine was one of the last classes to go so everyone else in our grade knew what it was like and how exhilarating it was to receive a letter (or 5) on mail day. Pleasant.

Item – Handwritten Story – 2003

Well it’s the start of a story. I think I may actually have a later draft still saved somewhere on my laptop. This was one of my first novel ideas. It was a love story between my 16-year-old protagonist, Matt, and a girl at his new school called Eminine. She hates her name, obviously. This is an ~interesting character trait~. It’s really not very good story writing, but it was the first time, I think, I put pen to paper and actually allowed myself to create stories. And therefore, this is one of my most treasured possessions.

I didn't choose the thug lyf etc

Photo – Sleeping small Lizzy – c. 1993 maybe?

Not sure why this is in the box, as it’s obviously from a lot earlier, but it is. It’s adorable. My parents took this photo, I think, because they wanted to document one of their favourite things about me: how I always fell asleep reading/with books on me.

Items – Collection of Birthday cards – 2003

Fifteen is a good age to be I think. My favourite card is the one on top. It’s from my family, but Charlie (aged 6) drew and wrote in it. It says inside, “Happy Birthday Lizzy. Lizzy it is your 15^th Birthday Love from Daddy Mummy Charlie BANO xo

XO bitch, XO

Some notes:

- “Bano” is Charlie’s spelling of “Banko” which was our family’s pet name for the as yet not born Sally.

- We do actually have another sibling but Charlie seems to have decided he is not a member of our family.

Oh no wait there is another card here that was most likely drawn by the 3-year-old Patrick. Perhaps the scribble is his angry, artistic response to be being left out.

P is for Patrick and Poking your brother with a stick

Items – Letters and Photos from Felix – DESTROYED in 2003.

The funny thing about having small siblings when you’re a teenager is that everyone is jealous. They want to come over and play with the babies. They offer to your mother to feed and change your siblings. They ask incessant questions about cute things they do. And hey, don’t get me wrong, I LOVED having baby siblings when I was a teenager, just as I love having pre-teen and teen siblings now as a young adult. It’s a very different experience to most people’s and is a defining feature of my idea of myself. BUT can you imagine?! You’re never sure if your friends actually like you or they just like kiddies. You want to hang out and do teen girl things and they are FUCKING OFFERING TO LOOK AFTER THE SQUIDGY THING, you get to look after her anytime you want and that means it’s not something you just offer to do.

And here’s the big thing. Kids wreck shit. My full-length mirror: SMASHED, my fancy blue jelly candle: ANNIHILATED... with a SPOON, and my favourite childhood book, Letters from Felix: RIPPED, DESTROYED and made STICKY with some sort of lolly.

These are some of the ripped out envelopes and letters from the book. Basically, a girl’s toy bunny gets lost at the airport and then goes on a world tour, sending her letters along the way. It is pretty much the most adorable thing and I was SO CAREFUL with it my whole childhood. Never lost any of the bits, never even used the stickers that were in the suitcase on the back page and then one day I discovered it RUINED by SQUIDGY CHILDREN.

This story has a happy ending. My mum looked everywhere for a replacement book for me, and never could. And then one day she saw it in the bookshelf at my brother’s kindy and bought it from them. So now I have a copy. And no squidgy small people around to ruin it.

Dear squidgy not so small people that I am related to, I love you, I do.

So anyway. I’m beginning to think that I will stop analysing these boxes at the end of Grade 12 (2005). I’ve kept one every year since then too, but I feel like it’s too soon or something. But I just love this project, and I hope you do too. I’ve had an idea that you are welcome to get involved in. I’m going to make a tumblr page that you can submit YOUR hoarded photos, letters, etc to, preferably with a little story to go with it. I will be putting this together in the next week or so, so stay tuned.

Lizzy King, Human - A Study. Box 3 Part 1

By 2003, I was a veritable memento keeping champion. I'd been doing it for 4 years by this point, and boy did I hoard EVERYTHING, it's going to take a few posts to get through this one. But of course, 2003 was a big year for me. I had a boyfriend, and then I didn't, I got a brand new sister and 2003 was also...

~The Year I Went to Ironbark~

This artwork is way too good to be mine. No idea who's it is...

Ironbark kinda dominates this box, so it’s worth explaining. My school sends its students to live on a farm for 5 weeks and learn about ropes and camping and cooking and animals and god. I did this in Grade 10, it was an amazing time. I learnt about all those things, and have since forgotten all of them, especially god.

Item – Ironbark Handbook – 2003

A heavily scribbled on book that details all the things we were meant to learn while on the camp. It’s a workbook, so it’s filled with my answers. We had to keep a rain chart and learn about knots, there’s info on the flora and fauna of the area (near Crow’s Nest, QLD) and how to treat farm animals. There’s a lot on farm etiquette (closing gates, crossing ploughed fields correctly etc) and pages and pages of Christian Songs. The amazingly tacky ones. Ones like “Lord of the Dance”, “The Blind Man” and “Every Day”!

*clap clap*

Item – Ironbark Journal – 2003

We had to keep a daily journal and I (surprisingly) actually managed this. I just read the whole thing and it’s really interesting. It’s a much, much more honest record than the ones I’d kept up until this point. I laughed out loud in parts too. Best story has to be:

“Claudia’s bed is near a window in the carriage and Kellie and I were on her bed shining torches at the guys. They were shining them back and then Connor, Frenchie and Loos mooned us! Ahhhhh! Then they were pretending to be having an orgy and Mr Morris came! It was hil-ar-i-ous!!”

I mean. It’s a funny enough story on it’s own. But then the hilarious semantic error of using the word “came” in that sentence. I think it must have been completely innocent, and what I meant was “Mr Morris walked past and caught them!” but that is NOT WHAT THAT SAYS RIGHT THERE.

Letter – from Charlie – 2003

I didn’t really get homesick at Ironbark. But I did get sibling sick. My baby sister, Sally was just 11 days old when I left for camp. Patrick was 3 and Charlie, 6. I missed them in an aching sort of way. Charlie wrote me some of the best damn letters, and drew me amazing pictures, all of which I put up on my wall above my bunk. This letter is too beautiful not to share:

Zero scales were given that day

Item – Movie Stub – 2003

I saw Seabiscuit apparently.

Photo – Of Morgan in amazing frame – 2003

I texted him to ask if I could use this, he said, "who am I to censor?"

This is Morgan, my first real boyfriend. We got together in 2002 and dated for 6 months. Look at his adorable face. This man has a wife and a baby now. A wife. And a baby. And also, some really awesome photos, if you like men with wives, babies and photos, he is your man. 

Word Processed Letter – from Caitlin – 2003

Caitlin always had my back. That’s the biggest thing I remember about my friendship with Caitlin. We ended up living together for a time a few years back, and at school, we were very close. She came on a bunch of my family holidays. If I ever told a lie to cover my tracks or my own embarresment, Caitlin would always go along with it, straight away, without question and then never mention it again. She was the best. In this letter she apologises for not hanging out with me much at the school fete (there were reasons), wonders why another girl doesn’t like us anymore and includes a photo of Tahiti to cheer me up. Legend.

Item – Disintegrated remains of The Hobbit – c1970s-2003 RIP

I think this copy was my dad’s originally, but I read it to death, literally.

Item – Poster of shirtless David Beckham – 2003

I don’t remember ever being interested in this gentleman’s football career, so I suspect TeenLizzy’s interest in him lay elsewhere.

I hear he was good at some kind of sport

Another Letter - from Charlie – 2003           

God he was so adorable! What ever happened?!

Photo – of me and tiny Sally – 2003

Why, it must be the first photo of me and Sally, ever! Look at her tufty hair! Her squidgy face! My smug smile that says “yes. This small creature is mine. She is perfect. You may not have her.”

squidge!

Item – paintings by James and Annabel – 2003

My cousins did some damn good art for me in 2003.

Item – Tiny Diary – 2003

First entry mentions Morgan touching my boobs AND the news that Mum is pregnant (with Sally). Second entry (a month later) details my desire to remain a virgin until marriage, bush fires, the loss of a much beloved lip gloss and the fact that mum was hospitalised because she was dehydrated (and you know… pregnant). Such a busy and exciting life I led.