33 Week Challenge Week 21: Do a handstand!

So I was that gangly child. You know the one? With limbs too long for their body and hair so whispy and blonde sometimes they looked bald? I tried lots of sports at school. I’m Australian, I never even once considered not doing sport – not until I was about 16 anyway. It’s just what you do. Even though I was shit at every sport I ever tried, I still did it. Netball, basketball, tennis, volleyball, teeball… and then there’s all the ones you did for P.E like touch football and hockey and LACROSSE for goodness sake. Shit. At. All. Of. Them. I remember a fateful P.E class where we did gymnastics. The horror! Flipping! Jumping! Tumbling! Other people seemed to be getting it; I was just sort of flopping about like a sea creature on the sand. Except the sand was a big blue mat.

Karate has changed a lot of things for me, as has running. I now know that I can touch my toes (sort of) and kick the air and not hyperventilate if I have to run for the bus. But I still feel like that gangly 11 year old. Especially because there is a mirror in the karate dojo. There it is, my too long, weirdly bendy skinny frame, draped in a white uniform, flailing and making me think words I probably shouldn’t, like retarded and spastic. Does it make it ok if I’m calling myself those names? Probably not. God my inner monologue is so politically incorrect.

Anyway, the whole point of these challenges is to try things that are challenging. So I decided to try and teach myself how to do handstands. That’s right, that gangly little child who couldn’t even do a tumble in year 8 P.E decided to try to stand on her own hands. What now?

It started with a lot of jumping late one night, and also a lot of groaning and holding my knee after landing on it. But then suddenly one of those jumps felt a lot more handstandy. So I kept practicing. I fell over again. I gave up. I went to Newcastle and thought no more about it.

Both my housemates are amazing at things like this. They have both been dancers, and Samara coaches rhythmic gymnastics (and is amazing at it too). So I asked both of their advice, and showed off what I could do so far. Samara taught me where I should be putting my hands, and how I should be stepping into it. The jumps became even more like handstands, but still not quite. Amy suggested I try one against a wall and then suddenly….

I did a fucking handstand.

There is not much more exhilarating than setting out to do something you think is impossible, only to find you are doing it. Or maybe it was just the actual rush of blood to the head, but it felt great. I did handstands for my housemates. I did a handstand for my rather hungover friend Tim. I did a handstand for Boyfriend in Charleville via the magic of skype. I obnoxiously did handstands at my karate class. I did handstands for my parents and siblings. My 14 year old brother and 8 year old sister were so impressed they asked me to teach them. And now I am expecting a call from my mother any day now wondering why I thought that was a good idea and do I want to come meet them at the hospital?

I got mum to take some photos, she said “you look even more disproportionate upside down”. Which is kind of true. Also I don’t care because I can do mother fucking handstands bitches.

the moment I realised my little shrug thing was not going to stay

it looks like I'm leaning on the wall a lot but I swear I'm not really. Also shut up! You don't know me.

the rather graceful return to earth

My dreams of working on Doctor Who as a stunt person grow ever more achievable! 

33 Week Challenge Week 7: Exercise every day for a week

 Oh my god, how boring are exercise freaks? It’s all “look how many kilos I lost” and “honestly, once you start you’ll love it” and “the first 5kms are the hardest, but then you don’t even notice you’ve cycled 50!” Urgh, right? I’m *sure* they’re not trying to rub it in, but it feels as though they know I don’t own a pair of joggers, and are judging me for the block of chocolate I ate yesterday.

So, uh, given all of this…. This blog is about to get mighty awkward. Because guess what? I’m an exercise freak. I did eat a block of chocolate yesterday, but I also bought a pair of joggers. Why? Because I started to get sore shins during the 2KM JOG I WENT FOR ON FRIDAY. That’s right humans, this week’s challenge was no. 26 - Exercise Every Day for a Week.

I’m going to do my darndest to make sure that this blog isn’t any of the things I just listed. And I guess the only way I can do that is to try and make it clear to you that 6 months ago, I would 1. Never have been able to do what I did this week, 2. Never have wanted to do what I did this week and 3. Never have even considered doing what I did this week. Seriously. Go back and read this blog that I wrote when I made the decision to start karate. I still have no idea why I made that decision, because I have always been unfit and, most importantly, uninterested in getting fit. The point is though, I did, and it was a great choice. Because unlike going to the gym, or running or cycling, karate is a skill I wouldn’t usually use (ultimately, jogging is just putting one foot in front of the other) and therefore I am somehow able to see it as a thing to get better at, whereas I couldn’t give a shit about getting better at exercise. UNTIL NOW.

Karate has made me naturally a bit fitter, as I discovered last week when, it being a bit cold, I decided to jog on the way to class. I started… and then realised I could keep going, and jogged all the way there. Google maps tells me that’s 1.4km. Now, some people may not be very impressed with that distance but it was pretty amazing for me, particularly because I wasn’t that tired at the end and then did a 1 hour karate class. BAM.

So, for this week, I did up an exercise plan:

This is a frightening look into how organised I can be sometimes. I mean it’s colour-coded for crying out loud. Was that necessary? No, no it was not. For reference, the grey just means when I was at work or otherwise engaged.

Now, every time it says “flexibility”, I want you to imagine it says “have a little nap” – because that’s what I did. I just couldn’t bring myself to be exercising every day AND get up early and stretch. This is a blog, not a lifestyle choice, jeezus. Also, you should know that I ended up working for my second job on Thursday and Friday, and therefore couldn’t bring myself to do anything on Thursday (I did manage to jog on Friday though, success). This means I didn’t quite finish the challenge, because I skipped a day. But quite frankly, if anyone wants to fight me on this, I know karate now. The challenge is done ok? It’s done *flexes bicep*.

Let me take you through some of the things I did, because I know you’re dying to know.

Yoga

I’ve never done yoga before, and this week I did it thrice. It’s been a really interesting experience. You’d think it wouldn’t do much, given that it’s all breathing and poses, but it’s really very energising, and certainly helping my flexibility and core strength. Plus, I love breathing, don’t knock it. I found it quite difficult to get past what I have dubbed the “third eye” stuff. There’s a lot of phrases like “open through the heart” and “breathe into yourself, cleansing your organs naturally”, which I have to restrain myself from snorting at - really disturbing my calm demeanor. Ultimately though, it’s an exercise practice based in spirituality, I always knew that, and I had to get over myself a bit to properly enjoy it. Besides, karate is spiritual too – it’s just that we get to hit each other in between mediations.

I have a favourite yoga pose. It’s called the pigeon. Thankfully, it looks nothing like a pigeon, which is one of the reasons I love it.

Karate

Fuck, I love karate. I’ve been doing it since February and am stronger, fitter, healthier and more confident for it. I also know how to get out of most holds a rapist would try on me, which is useful. Sometimes, when I’m wearing my steel-capped boots, and I’m walking through the valley, I almost want someone to try something, so that I can get out of their hold, kick them with my steel-caps and then run like hell with my new found running ability.*

Running

Segue! Ok, it’s jogging not running. But still, this is genuinely something I have never been good at and am very, very surprised to find myself doing. I went for two jogs this week, one with mates and one alone, and both were quite successful. I have now gone out and bought proper shoes and clothes though, because I didn’t really own anything appropriate and went for a jog wearing my “Property of the Half-Blood Prince” shirt, awkward/awesome.

Core Strength

This is basically just pushups, situps and other general ab muscle death. I did this once with my friends after our jog and made up for skipping it on Thursday by being forced to do it by a Japanese-shouting Venezuelan woman (my karate sensei… she’s amazing)

So that’s it, bloggeroos; my week of exercising. I was about to say “and I’m never doing it again!” but I’m actually going to for a jog tonight with some peeps from karate and I’m planning to go to yoga tomorrow morning, so there goes that. Seriously, who am I?

Also, the big news? I’m registered for the Bridge to Brisbane, which is now challenge number 27, and will also cover challenge 19 – raise money for charity. More on those later. But for real, I am going to run 10km in September, you watch.

*Dear mum, I don’t really want that. I might die, I know.