33 Week Challenge Week 21: Do a handstand!

So I was that gangly child. You know the one? With limbs too long for their body and hair so whispy and blonde sometimes they looked bald? I tried lots of sports at school. I’m Australian, I never even once considered not doing sport – not until I was about 16 anyway. It’s just what you do. Even though I was shit at every sport I ever tried, I still did it. Netball, basketball, tennis, volleyball, teeball… and then there’s all the ones you did for P.E like touch football and hockey and LACROSSE for goodness sake. Shit. At. All. Of. Them. I remember a fateful P.E class where we did gymnastics. The horror! Flipping! Jumping! Tumbling! Other people seemed to be getting it; I was just sort of flopping about like a sea creature on the sand. Except the sand was a big blue mat.

Karate has changed a lot of things for me, as has running. I now know that I can touch my toes (sort of) and kick the air and not hyperventilate if I have to run for the bus. But I still feel like that gangly 11 year old. Especially because there is a mirror in the karate dojo. There it is, my too long, weirdly bendy skinny frame, draped in a white uniform, flailing and making me think words I probably shouldn’t, like retarded and spastic. Does it make it ok if I’m calling myself those names? Probably not. God my inner monologue is so politically incorrect.

Anyway, the whole point of these challenges is to try things that are challenging. So I decided to try and teach myself how to do handstands. That’s right, that gangly little child who couldn’t even do a tumble in year 8 P.E decided to try to stand on her own hands. What now?

It started with a lot of jumping late one night, and also a lot of groaning and holding my knee after landing on it. But then suddenly one of those jumps felt a lot more handstandy. So I kept practicing. I fell over again. I gave up. I went to Newcastle and thought no more about it.

Both my housemates are amazing at things like this. They have both been dancers, and Samara coaches rhythmic gymnastics (and is amazing at it too). So I asked both of their advice, and showed off what I could do so far. Samara taught me where I should be putting my hands, and how I should be stepping into it. The jumps became even more like handstands, but still not quite. Amy suggested I try one against a wall and then suddenly….

I did a fucking handstand.

There is not much more exhilarating than setting out to do something you think is impossible, only to find you are doing it. Or maybe it was just the actual rush of blood to the head, but it felt great. I did handstands for my housemates. I did a handstand for my rather hungover friend Tim. I did a handstand for Boyfriend in Charleville via the magic of skype. I obnoxiously did handstands at my karate class. I did handstands for my parents and siblings. My 14 year old brother and 8 year old sister were so impressed they asked me to teach them. And now I am expecting a call from my mother any day now wondering why I thought that was a good idea and do I want to come meet them at the hospital?

I got mum to take some photos, she said “you look even more disproportionate upside down”. Which is kind of true. Also I don’t care because I can do mother fucking handstands bitches.

the moment I realised my little shrug thing was not going to stay

it looks like I'm leaning on the wall a lot but I swear I'm not really. Also shut up! You don't know me.

the rather graceful return to earth

My dreams of working on Doctor Who as a stunt person grow ever more achievable!