Q and Eh?

What 5 cities would you like to travel to?

Do I have to travel to them all in one day? If so, probably a bunch of the cities in the middle of Europe, I feel like you could get around to 5 cities in one day pretty easily.

Look I'm not saying I'd be able to stay for lunch or anything...

If I have a bit more time, and we’re talking cities I haven’t yet visited, in no particular order: Toronto, Edinburgh, Naples, New York and Dunedin.

If you wrote a book which was being turned into a film, who would you like to direct it?

I don’t know a lot about directors, but the guy who did The Hunger Games did a really good job of adapting that, so him. His name, according to IMDB, is Gary Ross.

If you wrote a book and it was being turned into a film, who would you want to star in it?

You guys are pretty keen on me writing a book, huh? It's nice to know you think I actually have it in me but this is hard to answer because 1. How do write books? And 2. I haven’t written one so I don’t have a character in mind to cast. On the other hand, Jennifer Lawrence.

What books/coimcs/tv shows/short stories would you like seen turned into a film/TV series]?

 You’ve thrown me off with that ] there, woah.

But to answer your question, I think that the The Fault in our Stars film can’t come soon enough, and also that in 15 years’ time, someone needs to remake Harry Potter properly, and I would be very keen on working on it somehow, and Tom Felton could play Lucius Malfoy, is all I’m saying.

How amazing am I?

Look, you are pretty amazing, and I’m a big fan.

what is it like to be pretty? Haha

Haha? Hahahahaa. Ha. People used to tell me I was pretty, people still do occasionally, which is nice I suppose. I think it gave me a warped sense of myself as a teenager, but it certainly didn’t make me any less self-conscious than anybody else. I think you are pretty.

Oh no wait are you asking me what it’s like to be ‘pretty haha’? Like… kinda funny? It’s great! I never thought I was funny and I always got upset when people made jokes and riffed off each other because I felt inadequate, and then one day I realised that being funny can be practiced and so I started practicing. Making people laugh is one of my favourite things to do, not least of all because it’s a skill I worked at.

Meanwhile, back on the attractiveness thing, I don’t shave my armpits anymore, so I hope that takes off a few pretty points for you.

Would you rather swim through a lake of vomit or a lake of diarrhea?

WHAT COUNTRY IS THIS? WHERE ARE THESE LAKES? THIS IS AWFUL. WORST. COUNTRY. EVER.

...Vomit.

If you were stuck on the proverbial desert island, what would be your: one album, one book, one film, one tv show, one food, one drink, one friend to hang with and one friend to eat?.....yeah. Cannibalism.

Album: Mozart’s requiem (I’m assuming I have something to play it on, right?)

Book: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (God, that was like choosing between children… or internal organs)

Film: The Emperor’s New Groove

TV: Doctor Who (I’m taking as many seasons as physically possible)

Food: Something really boring and sensible, like a fruit, that I can plant the seeds of so that I always have food.

Drink: cider, for the tough times

Friend to hang with: you dear, of course

Friend to eat: I can’t decide, I’ll do a lottery or something. I can only imagine the conversation:

SURPRISE YOU GET TO COME ON A HOLIDAY WITH ME!

Yay, where are we going?

EXCITING TIMES, IT’S A DESERT ISLAND.

What? That’s the worst, why can’t we go to Melbourne or something?

DON’T ASK QUESTIONS, GET IN THE BAG.

What?

IF YOU SEE SOME SEASONING IN THERE, BE A DEAR AND JUST START RUBBING IT INTO YOUR SKIN.

What is your spirit animal? Or patronus? YEAH!

Some kind of big cat, like a tiger or a lion would be cool, but let’s be real here, it’s probably a koala or something.

What do you want for dinner?

I think we should probably use some of the chicken in the fridge, are you cooking?

Will you do this marking for me?

No. Get back to work, boyfriend, you have dinner to make.

Who would win in a fight between Josh Martin and ex-Pope Benedict?

I don’t know, does Benedict also have multiple martial art skills? Seems unlikely, in which case this is an awful match up, who did this draw? Didn't I tell you to get back to work?

Shoes

So…. This isn’t a question, but I like your style; simple, direct, to the point. Do I like them? I have very few and absolutely hate shopping for them, but I like them as much as anybody who doesn’t like rocks in their feet, I guess.

Which Harry Potter character would you like to act? Which would you like to be?

I am not a very good actor, so I’d like a bit part as like, Ravenclaw number 4 or something, but if I could *be* a character, I would like to be Harry. Or maybe Luna. Or Neville. 

Want to be involved in the next Q and Eh? Like Hum Drum Plum on Facebook, follow me on twitter, or become my boyfriend. 

Lizzy King, Human - A Study. Tour!

Europe Tour

Life Advice

I think by now it has been pretty well documented that I like to hoard. So it should come as no surprise to you that I have kept one box for each of the two overseas trips I have undertaken in my life. So these are extra boxes, boxes in excess of the annual boxes. Today’s blog comes to you care of a box marked “Tour. Dec 2004 – Jan 2005”. It contains travel documents and tourist brochures, mementos and weird shit I picked up along the way.

I was very privileged to be a member of the St Peters Chorale. Much more than a school choir, the chorale has recorded and performed music all over the world, and in late 2004 it was our turn. I got a casual job more than a year beforehand and saved up the majority of the cost of the trip, something I was and am very proud of. We spent 4 weeks travelling through England, the Czech Republic, Poland, Hungary, Austria and Switzerland. We performed to 10 people in some places, 100s in others and notably, to about 1500 in Poland where we were also broadcast on TV. It was an amazing trip, and this box provides a small glimpse into what 16-year-old Lizzy thought about it all. (Actually this is a really weird snapshot and doesn't even really begin to cover half of what we did, a fraction of what I felt or a smidgeon of how important this trip was but anyway, it's good).

Items – Fanta bottles – 2005

It’s always exciting, I think, when you go to a new place and things are the same but different. Here we have a mango flavoured Fanta with not-so-mango colours and a “Vadmalna” flavoured Fanta. I’ve googled it but I can’t find a translation that tells me what flavour that is. I’d love to assume “grape” going by the colours, but with the mango colours as an example, we may never know. The best/grossest part? They still kinda smell like Fanta.

Item – City Info Guide to Wien – 2005

We know Wien as Vienna. There’s a lot of great stuff to see and do in Vienna, and I have a distinct memory of the snow being kind of like little perfectly round balls, like tiny beanbag beans. Please note the sticker advertising the Toilet of Modern Art - that was a cool place. And the art was good too.

Item – Brochure and Ticket to the Salt Mine – 2005

Oh my god, if you EVER go to Europe, promise me you’ll go to the Wieliczka Salt Mine in Poland. It’s a bit scary if like me you are claustrophobic, but ultimately the awe and wonderment you feel vastly outweighs any fear. It’s a giant, underground museum, and the walls are made of salt. The tour guides carry lemons with them in case anyone brings their own tequila, true fact. There’s a massive cathedral carved out of the salt down there, and the salt has been so beautifully polished, it looks like marble. Just fucking go, alright?

Item – Terrifying Kinder child – 2005

The Aryan ideals live on in this child.

If "Kinder" means child, is Kinder Chocolate made from Children?

Item – Post-it Notes from my Mum – 2004

She left these in my luggage everywhere. She’s the best.

She even wrote a love note in the waistband of my jeans

Letters – from my ex-boyfriend – 2005

Ah, I won’t go into too much detail here because I haven’t gotten permission from all parties involved but basically, I was in one relationship when I left for Europe and another when I returned. It was one of those unfortunate situations where I didn’t really want to be in relationship 1 when we left, but I couldn’t very well break up with him at Christmas time and right before we went away together, and I didn’t think that relationship 2 would ever happen. And then relationship 2 looked quite feasible and relationship 1 was really quite unhappy, so I just casually thought it would be a good idea to pull a switcheroo while we were as far from home as it was possible to be, surrounded by other teenagers and on strict behavioural instructions. It’s got to be right up there with one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done*. The letters range from being exceedingly angry to fairly forgiving, epitomising, I think, how strange it was to play out big emotional changes while in a sort of suspended reality – a reality where we could be arguing in the snow, then singing in a concert 20 minutes later and laughing on the bus an hour after that.

* Though in saying that, relationship 2 went quite well for quite a long time afterwards and the boy from relationship 1 did some pretty fucked up shit later on so… I don’t know what I’m trying to say here, I should stop trying to find absolution for shit 16-year-old Lizzy did.

Item – Fudge Kitchen Wrapper – 2004

Yes! Jim’s fudge kitchen! This was a place in England that made some of the best damn fudge I have ever tasted. And they made it all right there in the shop. 

A bunch of people from the tour asked to see Jim (presumably to thank him for his delicious fudge) and the guy behind the counter said, “ah… Jim’s kinda like Yoda” ... “in that he doesn’t exist”.

Item – Crystal Worlds Brochure – 2005

Is this not the most terrifying face you’ve ever seen? Even more terrifying than Kinder child? I saw this face in real life. Nothing can really prepare you for how weird the Swarovski Crystal World is.

And extensive counselling can't make you forget

Item – Arty sugar packets containing what is now almost 8 year old sugar – 2005

Gross.

Totes put them back in the box