Dirty Hipster

Anatomy of 50% of a Hipster

Hipsters, what even are they?

When I was a teenager, the dominant non-mainstream mainstream culture was Emo. Everything was a little bit Emo, from Emos themselves, to TV shows, to music, to the kind of clothes they sold at Supré.

And now it’s Hipsters. You can buy really cheap, crap vintage-esque clothes from Supré, and all the cool music is kinda Folky. It’s just unfortunate because one of the main strongholds of the Hipster culture is that it’s about being into stuff before other people discovered it, which is tricky considering we are all, now, in a small way, a total Hipster.

You might think you’re not a hipster, but you are. And the best bit? If you think you’re not, if you think you’re cooler than the mainstream… THAT MAKES YOU A HIPSTER. It’s an awful, hilarious, cycle of sockless feet and doom.

The Hipster Culture is really good for people like me. There have been AT LEAST a hundred occasions where I have left the house with the thought “oh Jesus I can’t be seen in this cardigan that I bought 8 years ago from Target, it has giant buttons and mismatching patterns OH NO WAIT that kind of shit is cool now phew”.  Like, the actual Hipster Culture is for cool kids, for people who like to be on the front line of new things and fashion and shit like that. BUT I think the real reason it has taken off so hard is that it allows for a lot of not so cool people, like me, to sneak in there through the cracks in our ugly, comfy clothes.  I really like wearing handmade brooches, have done for some time, apparently that’s cool now. Also, I always wanted to buy vintage dresses because I thought they looked nice, but I was too chicken. NOW it’s a cool thing to do and I can get away with it really easily, and people compliment me on my dowdy, mega-super-comfy, really cheap dresses that I secretly only bought because they had pockets.

Meanwhile, Hipsters are reviving lots of 90s stuff WHICH IS GREAT because it’s basically just nostalgia town for people who grew up in the 90s. Like it’s cool to be into Pokemon again, and it’s cool to love silly movies and it’s cool to wear Disney clothes and it’s cool to go to Hanson concerts. So basically, all of us sneaky hipsters don’t actually have to try that hard to be cool. We just have to reminisce for a moment and then we’re super awesome.

I’m just looking forward to the time when it’ll be Hipster to be Emo. DOMINANT NON-MAINSTREAM MAINSTREAM INCEPTION.