Two Weeks with the Queen of Writers' Block

In what can only be described as an extraordinary feat of procrastination, this afternoon I picked up the copy of Two Weeks with the Queen by Morris Gleitzman that is sitting on the spare bed and started reading.

I have a lot of uni work to do. Possibly more uni work than anyone has ever had ever. That’s a pretty safe claim, I reckon. Sure, some people have multiple degrees in neuroscience but did you know I have to read 20 pages of boring readings and watch a recorded lecture and make three postings on an online forum? THREE. Anyway, despite all of this I thought it was a really good idea to pick up a children’s novel and read it instead of doing any of those things.

I finished it. I read the whole thing in about an hour I’d say. This is not an amazing act of reading prowess. It’s quite short. It’s called Two Weeks with the Queen after all; it’s only about 130 pages long. Boyfriend is teaching it to his grade 8 class, which is why it was on the bed in the first place.

I’m not here to talk to you about the story. It’s a good story. I’d completely forgotten almost all of it, but it’s good. And it has really good characters, and it makes you laugh and then tear up a bit. But it’s not what I’m blogging about.

I’m blogging about the introduction. In this new edition, Gleitzman has a little intro talking about how the book came to be and how he got it published and that sort of thing. He says he was trying to write something completely different, a story about fruit bats or something. He was a new writer, he’d planned it all out, started drafting it, had been working on it for weeks when suddenly, like a bolt of lightening, he had the idea for Two Weeks instead.

And then the bastard just wrote it.

In about a month, without any planning, Morris Gleitzman wrote an entire, internationally best selling novel about a boy who goes to England so he doesn’t have to watch his brother die of cancer. Morris you bastard, I hate you. (Dear Mr. Gleitzman I actually love you, you were one of my favourite authors as a child, please do not take this personally, thanks for reading my blog, love your work, Lizzy).

There are two schools of thought when it comes to writing. Well there’s heaps, probably, but lots of people either think that it’s magic – a burst of inspiration comes to you, or it’s dedication – you have to write every day even when you’re uninspired because it’s not magic, it’s hard work so stop your moaning and get writing.

It’s clearly both. Well I think it’s clear anyway, and Morris agrees with me it seems. He says in his introduction, “Much as we authors might think we’re special because we make up stories, there’s a mystery at the heart of what we do… So if we’re sensible, and fair, we share the credit with that mystery.”

Unfortunately for me, I can’t claim to practise the teachings of either school of thought. Much as I’d love to say that I’m a writer, the reality is that I haven’t written anything aside from these blogs in years. And even the blogs are now a weekly struggle for me. If I ever skip a Sunday you can bet your bum that I’m either very busy, very uninspired, or both. And I’ve just skipped two Sundays in a row. Two weeks. Two weeks, not with the Queen, not with inspiration or hard work, but with nothing. No desire to write, no ideas to write about and no inclination to care, really.

Except I do care. Whenever I have these lapses in blogging, I am also plagued by the feeling I should just give up. What’s the point, a small voice complains, why bother? You don’t write anything of substance anyway, no one cares if you stop entirely and never blog again. But what’s worse still is that blogging is what ties me to writing. If I were to give it up, I’d really have to acknowledge that I’m not a writer, that I am, in fact, a fraud, and I’m not quite ready to give that up yet.  

So once again I find myself struggling for a new blog direction, and secretly, in spite of all the uni work I have, I’m also still searching for inspiration to write other things too. Somewhere deep down I still feel I have a novel in me. Maybe I *should* stop moaning and start writing, but in reality I am still waiting for the lightening bolt.

Maybe I should try writing about fruit bats for a bit.

I spun on my chair and took about 20 photos. This was the best one. So creative. 

The Results are in!

Welp, the results are in. Thirty-one of you responded to my survey… 31! That is heaps more than I was expecting, and lordy did you guys say some hilarious stuff, also some insightful stuff. I’m really glad I wrote last week’s blog, and I’m really glad I put together that survey, but most of all I’m really glad you guys all felt compelled to respond so excellently. This week’s blog is dedicated to the results, enjoy.

Question 1: Who are you?

As suspected, most of you are my friends. Nine of you, however, claim to be an acquaintance. It’s funny, you know, I only added that option in at the last second. I had this moment where I thought, someone might feel uncomfortable claiming to be my friend if we haven’t actually spoken in three years, so I better put this option in. I wasn’t expecting nine of you to go for it! I have this feeling that we are probably actually friends on some level, in my imagining, but maybe that’s just because I’m super lonely, you guys.

WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON, LET'S DO BRUNCH.

Question 2: How did you find Hum Drum Plum?

Most of you responded that either you saw it on facebook, or I told you about it, which comes to the same thing, really. Kudos to the three of you who clicked “I saw a link to it on twitter”, you guys are the reason I still occasionally hang out on that crazy website. Remember when twitter was awesome, you guys? What happened there? Is it because I stopped posting words that rhyme with twitter and passing them off as jokes?

Question 3: What are your favourite kinds of Hum Drum Posts?

I really should have limited the number of responses you could put on this one, shouldn’t I? I’m looking at you, person who ticked every possible answer and then wrote, “(Sorry I know that was no help, lol)” in the Other box. Lol indeed madam/sir, lol indeed. Nah, it’s cool, and I’m very flattered you like all the kinds of blogs I write. The real winners of this question, of course, were the cads who answered, “I like everything you write, I am your mother”, an answer I literally put in there to try to catch her out. Six of you thought that would be a hilarious response, and to be honest you were 100% right.

I'm not sure if mum did the survey now, I'm not even sure she's my real mum anymore.

Question 4: If I were to get a whole new blog, how would that make you feel?

To be honest I’m upset none of you chose “Confused and Angry” or “Giant Squid of Anger”, but it seems all of you decided to go all serious for this one. Which of course I do actually really appreciate, even though it makes for dull analysis right now. The overwhelming response was that you didn’t care. Then, just to make it difficult, an equal number of you said you’d like me to change/said you wouldn’t like me to change. So I guess I’ll just have to run two blog sites at once to please as many people as possible. (No, I won’t do that: that is crazy).

Question 5: What do you think of me trying something new and only overanalysing movies, TV, etc?

Yes, now we get into the main focus of the survey, the reason I did the bloody thing in the first place. And sorry Marge, the mob has spoken. Overwhelmingly, you told me you’d like me to try something new, but not abandon what I do now either. That’s really pleasant, you guys, thank you. 

Question 6: Tell me honestly, on a scale of awesome to brilliant, how good is Hum Drum Plum?

Funnily enough, even though it was badly worded, and not at all an accurate way of gauging how people feel about the blog, this question is the one I was most nervous about. The first person that responded with “Ok” was like a little knife to my heart. DON’T FEEL BAD, three people who responded that way. It’s alright, I did genuinely want your honest opinion, but there’s still something very difficult about receiving any kind of feedback. I appreciate the three of you who said it was “brilliant” (oh stop!), but let’s be real here, most of you said it was good or great, and I probably agree with you. It could be better, and I am going to aim to make it so over the coming months.

Question 7: Finally, if you feel like saying anything else, please do so here.

And this is where the hilarity and insight really came out. You guys! I was alternating between laughing hysterically and tearing up every few moments. You made me look (more) like a crazy person. I don’t have room to go through every response, but let me wax lyrical a little, and give some general answers to your questions…

Person who asked if I could do a blog detailing my teeth brushing routine… no, no I cannot, because that is literally the only thing I have left, the last sacred thing I have not shared with the internet. Please respect my privacy on this, my toothbrush and I are very adamant on this one. I’m sorry.

Person who said I had a “strange talent” in that I am relatable but firm in my own opinions. Thank you, that was a really succinct and nice way of putting what I strive for in blogging, but also my actual life. I am glad that comes across.

To the multiple people who said they don’t really see or know me anymore but feel some way close to me because of my blogs… it’s awesome that you feel that way, but please interact with me! Comment on blogs, like my facebook statuses, send me a PM. I know it might feel weird at first but I am really open to reconnecting with people over stuff we both find interesting. And sometimes blogging feels like you are yelling into the void, because people are afraid of the comments section. Please don’t be afraid! You might feel close to me because of my blogs, but I have no idea who you are!

People who just said nice things, thank you, I really needed those nice things.

People who said insightful things about going forward, thank you, I feel like I am a lot more sure of what I would like to do with the blog, stay tuned.

To the person who used this section to anonymously confess about a sexual interaction you once had with a horse… I know who you are… and if you don’t become subservient to my every whim, I am going to reveal your secret to the masses.

Stay tuned next week for the results of the results. What my plan is, how it will work and when it will start will all be revealed, just as soon as I work that shit out. Have a lovely week xx

Help! I need somebody!

Readers, bloggeroos, lovers. Whatever it is you’re called… I need your help.

not just anybody...

You may have noticed (you probably haven’t, I’m probably being paranoid) that my blog has been coming to you later and later every week. Sometimes it doesn’t reach you until Mondays. Also, and I know I probably am just being paranoid now, but you may have noticed the quality is getting shittier too. The truth is, my friends, that blogging is getting harder and harder for me. It’s not that I don’t have the time, it’s not even that I don’t like it (I love it), it’s that it feels like there is some inspiration box of ideas in my head, and at the moment we’re down to a paperclip, two bits of fluff and the last bit of scrunched up paper that says, “write a blog about how you’ve run out of ideas”.

I know, in my heart, that this isn’t true. Inspiration doesn’t work like that, there aren’t a finite number of ideas and I haven’t used all mine up already. If I had, I’d probably be dead. But I do think that writing once a week means that good ideas, great blog posts seem to be few and far between. They swim in a sea of posts about my own, little life. My most popular posts are ones that aren’t about me. You guys love reading about Disney, Translink, Harry Potter and growing up. Obviously, I always write from my own perspective, and my own experience, but I understand why the more relatable posts aren’t ones exclusively about my life. My life just isn’t that interesting. On the other hand, I’m sure you guys can understand why I do often write about myself. When casting around for inspiration, it’s much easier to stop in my own living room, or in my own head.

I am a big believer in quantity. Obviously, quality is very important (and it’s why I’m having this freak out), but I really do believe that making myself write a blog every week has made me a better writer. If I were to just write whenever the fancy took me, I would never write at all. You can’t just sit around waiting for inspiration to hit, because it won’t. That’s a fallacy. For me, anyway, there’s no creativity phone and you can’t just sit around waiting for it to ring. You’ve got to pick it up, punch in numbers randomly until you find something worth talking to. Maybe inspiration just comes for some people, but I have to push for it, and more often than not I write without it. And making myself write regularly has made me *find* inspiration, and that’s great. But even still, I feel like I’ve been pushing too hard lately, like I’ve damaged the part of my brain that comes up with ideas.

So I’m completely conflicted. A part of me wants to stop blogging for a while. Give my brain a rest and try to let ideas come to me later. Another part of me thinks that’s stupid; I should keep at it, because keeping at it for the last year or so is what has made me better. I think maybe the answer is that I need to switch it up. I need to get a new style, a new project, maybe even a new blog. My big idea at the moment is to pursue an “overanalysing” theme. I really enjoy doing those kinds of blogs, and people seem to like them. So I’m wondering if I should just throw myself in to *only* doing those kinds of things for a while. You know, watching and ripping apart Disney films, other kids movies, TV shows, stuff I haven’t seen before… etc.

And this is where you come in. I write for you guys, so I want to know what you think. I’ve made up a very quick survey and it would be amazing if you could do it. I estimate it will take you no more than a couple of minutes, and it just covers a few questions about who you are, why you read this blog and what you’d like to see in the future. If you could please take a few moments to do this for me, I will love you all 5eva. 

This is the link to the survey, please help!