The subject of my first ever blog is PANTS (caps, bold, italics, underline. This shit is important).
Yes, pants. There's been a lot of talk lately about whether leggings/tights constitute an adequate substitute for pants. This is an important debate, one of the most important conversations of our time, and I'm about to weigh in with gusto*.
Perhaps people are getting confused. Ladies (and gents? It seems only a matter of time), tights are called tights because they are, in fact, tight. Too tight to be worn without something else covering your bum-bum. Top-tip: If the tubular items you are pulling onto your legs are not called pants, then THEY ARE NOT PANTS. I can see right up into your business.
It was recently brought to my attention that girls might be wearing leggings-as-pants because they want their business to be seen. I often see these ladies in the Valley - a thriving hub of alcohol, hormones and regret, not wearing pants and, sometimes, also attempting to pass off a shirt as a dress. Now, I'm not the kind of lady to go "out on the razzle" (My Nana, 1952), so maybe I don't get it - but you're not wearing enough clothes. How embarrassing, you left the house without pants. I've always thought that girls who are regularly out clubbing are kind of secretly hoping to find a boyfriend in the Valley. Why, I'm not sure. Ladies, extend your Vodka Cruiser-goggles beyond the corner of Ann and Brunswick! But, if you are looking in the Valley, and you aren't wearing pants, you're hunt can only result in one thing: sexy times with a less than gentleman. Now, sexy times are great and I would never dream of judging them (unless they aren't safe, in which case "unclean, unclean!"), but I believe the majority of these pantless ladies are actually looking for the elusive creature, Potentialis Boyfriendius. Despite what you're mums might've told you, nice boys are out there and I can tell you something about them. Something important, something life changing... they are looking for a lady WEARING PANTS.
#Pant rant ends.
Welcome, thanks for reading.
*Gusto - just one of the words in my list of those that should be used more often.
