The subject of my first ever blog is PANTS (caps, bold, italics, underline. This shit is important).
Yes, pants. There's been a lot of talk lately about whether leggings/tights constitute an adequate substitute for pants. This is an important debate, one of the most important conversations of our time, and I'm about to weigh in with gusto*.
Perhaps people are getting confused. Ladies (and gents? It seems only a matter of time), tights are called tights because they are, in fact, tight. Too tight to be worn without something else covering your bum-bum. Top-tip: If the tubular items you are pulling onto your legs are not called pants, then THEY ARE NOT PANTS. I can see right up into your business.
It was recently brought to my attention that girls might be wearing leggings-as-pants because they want their business to be seen. I often see these ladies in the Valley - a thriving hub of alcohol, hormones and regret, not wearing pants and, sometimes, also attempting to pass off a shirt as a dress. Now, I'm not the kind of lady to go "out on the razzle" (My Nana, 1952), so maybe I don't get it - but you're not wearing enough clothes. How embarrassing, you left the house without pants. I've always thought that girls who are regularly out clubbing are kind of secretly hoping to find a boyfriend in the Valley. Why, I'm not sure. Ladies, extend your Vodka Cruiser-goggles beyond the corner of Ann and Brunswick! But, if you are looking in the Valley, and you aren't wearing pants, you're hunt can only result in one thing: sexy times with a less than gentleman. Now, sexy times are great and I would never dream of judging them (unless they aren't safe, in which case "unclean, unclean!"), but I believe the majority of these pantless ladies are actually looking for the elusive creature, Potentialis Boyfriendius. Despite what you're mums might've told you, nice boys are out there and I can tell you something about them. Something important, something life changing... they are looking for a lady WEARING PANTS.
#Pant rant ends.
Welcome, thanks for reading.
*Gusto - just one of the words in my list of those that should be used more often.
I think the lines are constantly being blurred on this highly moral issue. For instance, the "jeggings" craze--that as of this writing seems to be dying down now. You know, leggings that are specifically designed to look like jeans (some even have drawn-on pockets to highten the illusion)...but are in fact still leggings.
ReplyDeleteI guess the draw of leggings is that they cover the body while still showing of the physical dimensions of the person in question. Whereas a dress, or pants, imposes a differing shape to the one actually possessed of the wearer. Perhaps it may even be something of a affirmation of body confidence: "I don't need to conceal my body shape."
But skimpy shorts do this too, I suppose...and I have seen girls in shorts so skimpy that their arse is practically falling out of them, whish may be more an affirmation of: "Check out my arse!"
I suppose the saving grace of the leggings is that while they may cling despereatly to the flesh, they at least do not open that flesh to the general public.
I think you made a very valid point when you said 'If the tubular items you are pulling onto your legs are not called pants, then they are not pants.'
ReplyDeleteI feel a bit awkward having to say this, but the (specifically designed for that purpose) large shirt-dress (dress-shirt? No, I wear THOSE) and leggings look is one of my favourites of all time. I think it's incredibly sexy - provided of course the outfit includes one of those novelty-size belts...if not, it's really just (from top to bottom) peroxide, hessian bag, gymnastics outfit and heels.
ReplyDeleteOn a more serious note, I enjoyed this. And I lol'd. =)
I read this to my bf because he wanted to know why I was laughing so hard. Anyway he said 'thats not true, guys aren't looking for a girl with pants'. and i now have to rethink my relationship. hahaha.
ReplyDeleteWhilst I agree wholeheartedly with you Ish I must suggest one exception to the rule, Audrey Hepburn.
ReplyDeleteA qualifier: whilst I know most girls see themselves as, or dream of, being like Audrey Hepburn, girls you are not Audrey Hepburn. This means while I will accept her wearing leggings etc the above statements made by Ish still stand.
Viva La Pant Revolution