12 Reasons it's OK to Hate Christmas

I try not to be too grinchy, but I’m really not a Christmas kind of person. I find it kind of stressful, and never what I hope it to be. I like seeing my family, but I much prefer to do so on a quieter, less jingly kind of day.

The most frustrating thing about Christmas for me is this: no one will just let me not enjoy it. I used to be pretty obnoxious about my distaste for the festive season, but these days I try to be as subtle as possible. But even though I work very hard to not get in the way of other peoples’ enjoyment of Christmas, they just reeeeeally want me to join in. And that would be fine too, but the more I resist, the angrier they seem to get. And I think the problem is that I don’t have a good reason, as such, for not liking Christmas. It’s mostly just that I find it not at all relaxing or pleasant, but you can’t explain that to people when they are trying to get you to wear reindeer antlers in the workplace.

So with that in mind, I have compiled a list of reasons it would be ok to not like Christmas, feel free to use these if you find yourself caught between a singing Santa and an unpleasant co-worker under the mistletoe.

12 Reasons it's OK to Hate Christmas by Lizzyish

1.     Your mother died in a hideous Christmas decoration explosion. They couldn’t tell where the tinsel ended and her intestines began.

2.     You are allergic to wrapping paper.

3.     Your entire family died when a sleigh fell on their heads during a staged family Christmas photo. You survived by eating your way out of the fake snow.

4.     Aliens have abducted you literally every Christmas day since you were born. It’s just tiring now really.

5.     “Jingle Bells” is a trigger from your old military days. The second you hear it, you go into a blind rage and kill everyone you see.

6.     Your parents named you Santa.

7.     You are a devout member of a new Christian denomination that believes Jesus was born on June 17^th.

8.     You work in retail.

9.     You were once a subject in a scientific experiment where you had your eyes taped open and were forced to watch all of those Tim Allen Santa Clause films back to back.

10. You are the eleventh Lord-a-Leaping and thus forever left behind. Leaping, leaping… alone.

11. Seeing the combination of red and green makes you inexplicably, spontaneously shit yourself. People always wish you a “Merry Shitmas”, they cover it, but you know… you know.*

12. You are one of the 105,000 people who will have nowhere to go at Christmas this year.

* You also hate the Rabbitohs

Hum Drum Holidays! I will be taking a short sojourn from le blog and will return in January with more lists like this one, more analysis of my teenhood, other fun stuff, and anything else you might want to see. Let me know if there's something in particular you would like me to do more of/less of/some of in comments or on any of my social mediums. In the meantime, I say funny stuff here, and update you about new blogs and how much I hate Facebook here. 

Have a lovely Christmas and New Year, thanks for reading - you all mean the world to me. 

Lizzy xx