33 Week Challenge Week 12: Go rock climbing

So I celebrated week 11, and being a third of the way through the 33 week challenge by not doing one. I know, I’m now regularly breaking the first rule of blogging, which is don’t talk about blogging always keep content new and exciting so that readers are rewarded for continually checking back. Oh yes, there’s rules of blogging, didn’t you know? I am knowledgeable in, if not good at sticking to, these things now.

However, I DID DO a challenge this week! Oh my god! Amazing! Stop the presses and other stupid clichés no one has ever said! To no one’s surprise as it’s in the title, I went rock climbing this week with my mate and rock climbing buddy, Chris (not the same Chris as sunrise Chris – I’m collecting them).

Let me tell you a little something about climbing harnesses… while wearing one, everyone, male or female, looks like they have a penis. And that penis does not look comfortable. I imagine for the people who do have penises, the experience was a lot more painful than for myself, but still, I did have to endure a temporary sex change, so there’s that. Anyway, all harnessed up and wearing uncomfortable shoes, Chris and I headed off for an induction. This was unnecessary for Chris, as he is a pro, and frightening for me, as it only lasted about 4 minutes. The actual climbing part of the induction was fine. You know, tie this knot, climb a thing, lean back, don’t die. The bit of the induction that worried me was the belaying part, the part where I had Chris’ life (or at least his unfractured bones) in my hands. I think there was a moment when this also dawned on Chris. I think that moment was when he was as high as he could go on the induction wall. Spoilers: he didn’t die. I know, it would have made a more dramatic story, sorry.

So, shortest induction ever, but they all seemed to know what they were doing… and there was padding on the floor, I assume to protect us, not the floor.

Chris and I headed to the walls. There is a colour coding system; there’s heaps and heaps of foot/hand holds, but you’re meant to choose one colour and stick to it aaaaaall the way up. Each colour is more difficult than the last, smaller holds, further apart etc. I can’t remember the actual colour coding but this is how I interpreted it:

Yellow – Lizzy, you saw a very tiny child climbing this one, you should not, under any circumstances, be seen climbing the yellow ones.

Blue – Yes. You are a beginner. You should do this one and see if you can move up to purple later.

Purple – Never mind, you cannot move up to purple, ever.

Green – Chris can do this one. He is pro. Look at him go, like some sort of spider, or a monkey... actually a spider monkey is really accurate.

Red – NO

Black – no one can ACTUALLY climb this one. Don’t be silly. Oh my god, except that guy! He must be a wizard.

So yeah, blue it was for me. I was all over the blue. I was the bluest of the blue. ROCKIN the blue! Yeah! And then I tried a slightly more difficult blue climb. I got about ¾ of the way up and then… stopped. Chris was all “use your legs Lizzy! The legs!” And I was all “uuuuurrrrrgh” and “I have no legs, I am an amputee now”. I wish I could tell you some inspirational tale, you know, Eye of the Tiger started playing, and I found the inner strength and determination to pull myself up that last metre or so. But actually what happened was I whinged a bit and then Chris belayed me down.

So yeah, there isn’t much else to tell – we climbed, Chris better than me. And then we left. It was great fun, and because I was new, they gave me card to get me to come back for free in the next week. I hope I find some time to do that, but we’ll see. I highly recommend it, and I also highly recommend taking a buddy. In fact, you pretty much have to have a buddy, it’s a two person thing. It’s great if, like Chris, they know what they’re doing, but you could try it with someone who doesn’t know either; lose your rock climbing virginities together… romantic. We went to Urban Climb on Montague Road in West End. It cost me $30 for gear, shoes, membership and climbing and you can climb for as long as you want.

Chris took a photo of my ass me climbing, which was disturbing because it meant he took one of his hands of the belay, but then I did ask him to do it so yeah, enjoy:

 Leave comments bloggeroos! So I know you are not spambots trawling the internet for photos of my butt xx