Who is the Advice Peacock?
The Advice Peacock is an idea. He’s an
enigma wrapped in a dream served with special sauce. He has a lot of feathers.
He has a lot of ideas.
The Advice Peacock knows his shit.
Marital problems, religious questions,
existential crises. The Advice Peacock can help. He is like your favourite
Agony Aunt except a bird.
I created the Advice Peacock as a sort of
alter-ego. Long time readers (first time callers) will not be surprised to hear
that I like to give advice. I have many blogs dolling out unsolicited advice
like soup to the homeless. I rave incessantly about things I think will make
you a better person. But I’m 24. And 24 year olds can’t just walk around telling
other people how to live their lives. Well no-one can, but youth seems to make
it even worse. Who am I to tell you how to dress (in my first ever blog), who
am I to list dot points on the best way to survive school, who am I to lecture
on any topic at all? What are my qualifications? What, really, gives me the
right?
The Advice Peacock does not have these
issues. The Advice Peacock is wise, he is fabulous, and he is fictional. Sure,
he’s arrogant, knows too much for his own good, and is kind of an idiot, but
who’s going to question a peacock? He has all the feathers, and those feathers
look like they have eyes. You can trust him. Or at least, you can fear him
slightly and accept that his arrogance is merely a result of his supreme
knowledge and well-preened plumage.
So sometimes I embody the Peacock. I allow
him to exist within me as I write/rant about all the ways you could be better.
I strut up and down, his soft yet supportive tail feathers encasing me and
extoll profound truths and tacky metaphors. I am he. He is me.
The Advice Peacock features in a zine I
accidentally made and am selling for $2 at TiNA today. How did this happen?
Some say Internet Party made me do it; still others say Advice Peacock himself
was involved. All I know is that he gives awful advice and makes me happy.
If you have questions for Advice Peacock send them to humdrumplum [at] gmail [dot] com and I’ll see if he’s up for answering a couple of them.
 |
| They are nutritious and taste like happiness |
