Blurb

idk

I’ve had a lot of jobs in my relatively short life. You know how lots of authors have those blurbs on their dust jackets? The ones that go Blah Blah has been a teacher, gymnastics instructor, waitress, tight-rope walker, singer, and for one horrifying day she was mistaken for an architect. She has written for TV, radio and film. This is her 16th book. She lives with her husband and their three cats in London. Yeah. That’s been my life, except without the successful writing career, or the cats, or London.  

Once, when I was changing jobs for the 700^th time, I actually thought about what my blurb might look like on a book and got all excited imagining it. It will sound so interesting, I thought, like I’ve really lived a life. The only problem with this fantasy, of course, is that I’ve never written anything longer than a few thousand words, and any time I’ve ever had an idea for a novel, I’ve been too impatient to actually write it. So the chances of me having a dust jacket blurb are pretty slim. Regardless, I’m going to write my own blurb, right now, just to show off my many and varied roles, in order.

Lizzy King has been a purveyor of fine donuts, a serviced office receptionist, a receptionist for an OBGYN, a generally grumpy barista, unemployed, a cleaner, a stage manager, production manager and lighting operator, she’s been an admin assistant for a music department, a student assistant, a glorified roadie, a production coordinator for an arts venue, a conference centre coordinator and receptionist again. For a few horrible months she was an assistant accountant. Now she is a teacher aide, education student and blogger. She lives in Dalby with her partner, Boyfriend, and their imaginary animal friends. She has never written a book.

So yeah. There’s a lot of jobs in there, and almost all of them paid me. The good news is that education feels different. For the first time in my life I am doing something that feels right all the time. Even when it’s hard, it feels right. And it’s been such an amazing experience; I’m kind of kicking myself for not doing it earlier.  The other good news is that I have this really weird, broad range of experiences, most of which involved being quite organised, pretty switched on and not freaking out about the unexpected. So you know… things that are pretty important when teaching.

Sure, I’m flighty, sure I infuriate my parents, yes, I could probably stand to stick things out a bit more, but in my 10 years in the big, scary world of work, I’ve gotten almost every job I’ve applied for, I’ve learnt new things a million times over, and I’ve gained a whole lot of XP. I spent ten years trying a whole lot of things in an attempt to find where I really want to be. It was a process of elimination, but I feel like I’ve found it. And besides, if I ever do write that novel, my blurb will be awesome.

Please share your blurbs in comments. Out do me. Go on.

 

I just spent at least 5 minutes looking up why teachers are always depicted with apples.

News:

Next month is Potentially ProblematicOpinions Month. During this themed month, Alex Neill writes about things that are potentially problematic, and this year she’s asked other people to join in. So I am! However, next month will also include some pretty crazy uni stuff and professional experience at an actual school so I’m giving myself the option to not blog sometimes if necessary. So stay tuned for possible, potentially problematic opinion blogs and stressed out crying.