Challenge no. 21: Write a page of news-relevant/topical jokes
Prime Minister Gillard met with New Zealand’s Prime Minister, John Key today, pledging to further strengthen ties with our Trans-Tasman allies. Gillard promised to continue pumping good, Aussie dollars into New Zealand’s tourism industry, in return for 5 more Lord of the Rings films, a pet kiwi for the lodge and a key ring that looks like a sheep.
Mr. Key said that Australia and New Zealand are like ‘family’, which is true - Australia is like a fat, rich, obnoxious aunt who keeps pinching New Zealand’s cheeks and forgetting its name.
Convicted murderer Judy Moran is in trouble after running over a fellow inmate with her wheelchair. This seems to me to be joke in itself, but here’s another:
My inability to complete this week’s challenge. Lol. Haha. Funny.
Yes, that’s right bloggeroos (my new name for you, I like it) – it is now 9:30pm on Monday and I have tried all week to write a page of news-related/topical jokes, and I have failed. However, that doesn’t mean I have to fail at blogging every week in June, I will still succeed at that one. I promise you (maybe).
So, my biggest problem with this week’s challenge is that I haven’t really been that interested in the news lately. I know, for some people this is a mortal sin, and for others it’s completely normal, but I do usually read abc news every day, and have some sort of knowledge of what’s going on in the world around me, but not so much at the moment.
My other big problem is that, when stuck, I decided to watch Paul McDermott’s GNW monologues on youtube for inspiration. All that made me do was go into a spiral of McDermott watching, and self loathing at not being vey good at what the GNW writers are great at. I spent considerable hours this week doing those things and not writing jokes.
My third problem (oh yes, this is just a list of problems. I failed the challenge, did you expect anything less?) was that I kept imagining what this blog would be like when I had finished my brilliant, brilliant jokes. I essentially started writing my triumph before I’d even gotten started. I even, sadly, imagined how I might tweet it to comedians for feedback. And how they would say nice things about me. Yes, it got that bad.
I really did think that the closer I pushed it to the deadline, the more the creative juices would suddenly flow, even though that’s never been the way I have worked well. I was hoping that some sort of brilliance would push its way out of my brain and onto the page before the deadline. It did not. I hope you are not disappointed in me, bloggeroos, I guess I will defend myself by saying that the whole point is that I might not complete these challenges, and the two rather feeble attempts at jokes above at least count as starting; at giving it a go. I will try again at a later date to finish this challenge.
Meanwhile, my herbs have both bugs and rodents, and are now completely nommed to death. I am going to build some sort of contraption to keep the bigger pests out, and possibly install some poison-tipped spikes. Seriously, those are my herb babies, who do these possums think they are?
Also, I think the secret, biggest reason I didn’t complete the task this week is that my Doctor Who obsession continues without any sign of ceasing. As I write, I am currently half way through the third season and closing.
dear lizzy,
ReplyDeletemy mum has recently started a herb garden which possums then discovered. her solution was to move the dog's bed so that she now sleeps about 3m from the herbs.
what you need is a dog.
love matilda
Have I ever mentioned the mountains of crap I write every time I do a stint at GNW? Seriously. I write pages and pages and there might be a handful of good lines in there. After several years of practice I'm a little bit better. Writing jokes makes your brain bleed. This is normal.
ReplyDeleteI'd suggest what you need is Matilda's mum AND Matilda's dog. That way the plan should be executed flawlessly.
ReplyDeletePs. Josh Thomas on Q&A last night, did you watch it?